Ever since I was born,
I had been a likable child
due to being quiet and positive
societal and cultural reason
was how it influenced how I behaved,
I was only being popular
because how well-behaved,
how well-mannered child
I used to be.
I had been patient,
for a long time ago
I used to do everything
and whatever they want me
to do or want me to be,
I started my first day in
Rose Hill Junior High School.
didn't know I was lonely in a
crowded education.
Since I started my first day in
high school, at first everything
was going well and being busy even
do things independently especially
upholds all volunteer and choir responsibilities,
didn't know who I was
I usually was so lost and trapped from
expectations in life and people
when I had this massive crush on
my high school crush,
didn't have self-control
of my teenage heart's desire.
No one knows the truth,
behind the scenes in my high school days.
had the same situation Rapunzel experience
wasn't allowed to go out and eat my lunch
in the cafeteria,
I was locked inside eating my lunch
between her classroom or in her office,
the only reason I could go out was when
I have classes to go to.
I feel there is something in my life
I had missed out on,
used to see many people
have to be in a relationship, and
having someone to date.
Is what I want in my life,
that I will never have
no one knows how anxious and
how seriously depressed I was.
I didn't know what to do.
exactly just like Roi Fabito,
I used to cite fatigue and being unhappy
the first time I was happy
when you asked me to be your
girlfriend at the same time
fear of showing you who I was
from my childhood days
because of how I usually behave
as neurotypicals and afraid of you
told a few people I was using you
but actually, you are using me
I dislike it when you don't
stop complaining to people
who you trust and agree with,
I thought you could keep
our relationship a secret away
from people in your life,
why do you always have to
be best friends with Emma and Mina
in the first place?
it won't be the end of the world,
if you just take them out of your life
I feel offended by how your best friend
told me to let go and move on with life,
they never understood how trapped I was before
when that happens I can't
do whatever you want me to do.
you and your best friends
make me lose control
of how I behave,
I had been quiet and patient a long time ago
I can't do that for you anymore
you make me a villain in your story
that is how you see me
Fine! You’re not my friend anymore
if you going to be this way
I tried to love and care for you,
and now you and your best friend
have reached my breaking point,
why do you have to make it difficult?
tried to do everything you want me to do
tried to be a perfect girlfriend for you
how much do you want from me?
you can't make me remember,
my flaws or my mistakes
because you will never understand
that I grew up not know
I had a learning disorder,
Why do you have to make my life hard?
Can you just leave me alone
stop telling me to let go or to move on with life
if you and your best friend
never know what I experience
from my high school days.

-Laura So

© LauraGemini