I want to kiss her
but don't know how.
I have a thousand questions
in my head.
I've been going crazy
about you and this topic.
I want you to be my
first and last.
I already figured out some things
but not all unfortunately.
What if I ruin it?
What if I make it wierd?
What if you're not ready yet?
What if you'll hate me after this?
What if...?What...if?
I don't care about me.
I only care about you,
and you're feelings.
I can hurt and bleed,both
mentally and psychically.
But I couldn't live if you're hurting in any way.
What if you'll say no?
What if our relationship will be over after this?
What if you wont talk to me ever again?
What if i'm not good enough for you?
What if...?What...if...?
I feel like I'm not good for you.
You would tell me that I am the best.
This isn't helping me anymore.
I already believed it.
I don't want you to hate me.
I don't want any "What if...?"'s.
I couldn't live without you.
I want to bleed for you if I need to.
I want to hurt for you if I ever need to.
I wouldn't mind if I would need to protect you with myself.
I would do it out of love.
I would and will.
Just please don't hate me.


But truly this whole poem is just a bunch of overthinking.
I don't know if anyone wants to hear it tho.

© Tortise