when i think of our memories it hurts;
and i don't want it to hurt because they were the only things that you had left me with.
i don't want you to replicate them,
and i know that's selfish of me,
but it's a murder weapon and im at the scene;
knowing that she gets to hear you say i love you is the thing that killed me.
i died and nobody showed up at my funeral except for me.
im front row seat as tears run down my face telling god it should've never happened to me,
im also asking him why it had to be me.
what a tragedy it would be if through our apathy there was something that could have saved me.
we both stood on a bridge and told eachother that we would jump on three;
i took the leap and as i was falling i saw you say goodbye to me.
you waved your hand and as soon as i hit the water you were no where to be seen.
you expected that would have been the last of me,
that i wouldn't have survived such a disastrous thing;
but i swam to shore,
and i caught up with you as if the roles were reversed and im forrest gump and you were jenny.
i would walk the whole country by foot if it meant that you loved me.
you said that you loved me.
you said for me not to speak so i walked beside you silently;
and everything that you asked from me i did for you in a heartbeat.
i hated myself simultaneously.
i had nothing else to give because i had given you everything.
the last thing i had in me was the air i breathed,
so i gave you my oxygen,
and i suffered from the consequence of not being able to fill my lungs with the air it needs.
why wasn't that enough for you;
i asked what you wanted to do,
if we go back to the bridge i promise ill take my whole life for you.
my biggest fear is dying,
but if death is what you must have me do,
i'll depart from a broken heart that was caused by you.
i wish my love was good enough for you,
in my obituary i hope it says something about me being in love with you.
you have so much more life to live,
and i wish you could've let me live;
but now i have the power of protecting,
and you'll never be in a bad spot again.
i don't know where im at because i havent met god just yet,
but if i get the opportunity to i'll introduce myself and ask him to make your dreams come true;
and i know this can't be heaven because being in heaven is being with you,
so where ever im at just know it's for you.

© catdimes