To be noticed.
All my life i've felt too big.
Too big for myself, too big for anyone else.
Too big to be loved, too big to be noticed.
At the age of 9 I became aware,
Too big, too round, too much.
I saw a little girl, whose weight weighed heavy on her soul.
Striving for perfection and fearing rejection.
A large frame for an empty heart.
By 11, I faded into the background,
Trying to disappear.
Too large, too fragile, too big to be seen.
By 13 I realized my thighs, my stomach, my arms look too big for me, too big for anyone else.
Now I gaze at the mirror, my reflection a stranger,
My body a foreign land, I am indeed so tired.
I am too much,
Too big for myself, too big for anyone else.
I carry the weight of a burden I can't lift,
And a life I can't live.
The endless cycle,
A hunger that can't be satiated,
Emptiness in a body full of hatred.
© eservinn
Too big for myself, too big for anyone else.
Too big to be loved, too big to be noticed.
At the age of 9 I became aware,
Too big, too round, too much.
I saw a little girl, whose weight weighed heavy on her soul.
Striving for perfection and fearing rejection.
A large frame for an empty heart.
By 11, I faded into the background,
Trying to disappear.
Too large, too fragile, too big to be seen.
By 13 I realized my thighs, my stomach, my arms look too big for me, too big for anyone else.
Now I gaze at the mirror, my reflection a stranger,
My body a foreign land, I am indeed so tired.
I am too much,
Too big for myself, too big for anyone else.
I carry the weight of a burden I can't lift,
And a life I can't live.
The endless cycle,
A hunger that can't be satiated,
Emptiness in a body full of hatred.
© eservinn