thinking I was done
etching every step,
every movement,
every painstaking scream;
each
begging—
"goddamn, turn back"
pleading —
"you know it's more
than a need"
degrading—
"Why do you suddenly care for your wellbeing"

grasping at any attempt
to
get
back;
back to
numbing relief,
a familiarity easy to achieve,
instant
gratification—
after
YEARS
of continuous "damnation";
denial
never appears,
especially
holding
any legitimacy—

for that
to be,
the truth
would have to
continuly be
accepted
by me;
in every state
my
"mental"
"well-being"
TAKES—
still
ALWAYS,
truth continues
in some way;
back to
"familiarity" —
just happens
to be
my
favorite
give in
GAME

© adiaelviancrw