The Dreadful Three
I am an addict of three.
These addictions weigh me down to the highest degree.
These three addictions;
Cause havoc and afflictions.

• Meet addiction number one:
You took three years to outrun.
To me your drug was priceless;
And in return, you left me lifeless.
The only thing to make me feel a thrill;
Would be to snort many pills.
One, Two, Three, Four:
Never enough; I craved more.
Surrounding myself with wrong associates;
To keep my system filled with opiates.
Hard work put into college and all I accomplished;
Was yanked from me and demolished.
That was the first goal I allowed drugs to crush.
By losing myself in a large rush.
Three years later I traded pills;
For bills.
Out on my own;
Finally, I have grown.

• Hello, addiction number two:
Coming at me like a whirlwind, what could I do?
The simple answer stated to me is "don't do it",
Let me tell you; That is a crock of shit.
This drug surrounded me:
Making it hard to be free.
Abused by my family, taunting at my job, and around my sacred home:
This evil substance came knocking at my door no matter how hard I would condone.
Evil dope;
You drain all hope.
Your wickedness has my family by strings;
Toying with all them as if they were your playthings.
Severing close ties;
You make them all want to live in lies.
My whole family chose you over me.
They all lost what was important you see?
I wish I could say I was over this addiction.
Here I battle, I am kept at the restriction.
Chrystal meth;
Your substance made me wish for death.
Your powers that made me feel so alive;
You made me lose sight of my drive.
Meth, I blame you for most that I have lost.
What people say is true; your charms came at a cost.
You caused my family,
To not stand by me.
Going from choosing bills,
Over pills;
my money was no longer to my life's investments.
I lost sight and chose narcotic supplements.
To that cost;
Everything became lost.

• Oh, addiction number three:
You snuck up on me.
I rejoiced too soon; your curse I thought my soul was free.
You, I thought I had avoided.
But here I am; an alcoholic next in line to receive the appointed.
Nurtured by my dad;
Which is sad.
He's not all to blame.
I stand here with my mistakes I claim.
But my father is a major part of the equation;
That brought on this alcoholic inflation.
Let us rewind the clock by two years.
That is when this addiction took off; switching gears.
I started a new job in home health;
Pizza inn wasn’t bringing in wealth.
Luckily finding clients wasn’t a bother.
I got to take care of my stepmother and father.
Starting my day off at 8 in the morning,
After a while; 6 hours a day there became boring.
So, on came the drinking.
8 am what the hell was I thinking?
Drinking with my father all day;
And functioning, what could I say?
On and on; never slowing.
Oh, the love for alcohol kept on growing.
After a year;
My father kept me in tears.
In a bind;
A new job I had to find.
Guess what rendered?
I became a beer tender.
There I continued to drink all day.
Serving beer and lots of drinking at play.
In the morning when I woke up;
I would fill up my cup.
Beer or whiskey;
Most of the time beer AND whiskey.
That is how my day got started.
I wonder how my strive got so parted.
I would fill whiskey in my flask.
Drink it immediately at work; the liquor never would last.
Then followed by lots of free beer;
Oh, dear.
Customers, co-workers, and bosses saw me drink,
But to them, it wasn’t a problem I don’t think.
My register always came out right,
Even though I would be drunker and/or higher than a kite.
To customers I carried myself well;
Though I would be so messed up like hell.
There is a term that I am called….
I am ashamed and appalled.
To you I convict;
I am a functioning addict.
By the looks of me, most people don’t know;
These demons hid deep in me below.
Most wouldn’t have thought;
I was completely drunk, high, and lost in distraught.
Hiding behind a pretty smile;
I've learned how to master now for a long while.
These three addictions have driven me to be completely lost.
And to what cost?
To kill pain by staying fucked up.
Because I couldn't handle God's challenges; even though I am a pup?
In the end,
These three substances have caused my descend.
I am going to end this poem with a short prayer;
For my lord savior upstairs….
"Here I kneel before you on my knees; in a holy conferee.
To you lord: I put forth and plea;
Pick me up and help me rise,
Before the next phase of this life is my total demise.
Salvation for you I yen;
To you Lord, I pray amen."


-C. Jackson