For it was worth noting I wrote my sorrow down.
She attacked me and still I was the one kicked around.
He said the court made a mistake on the order I got.
I spoke of the smell of this act and compared to rot.
To the streats I went with twenty plus years lost.
After years of asking for help I found the true cost.
Now the rumors started to spread it was addiction.
Ignoring my pain and poverty to worsen the afliction.
I had nearly froze to death and went for help DHS
They said sleep at the laundry mat to cover the mess.
I tried everywhere my own family blocked my call.
Starvation and sleeping in my car through fall.
Winter came and I was bouncing around.
Theft and betrayal from friends I found.
Back to the street and drugs were plenty.
All of the rumors had my life empty.
I went back after twenty five years clean.
Lucky for me I was no longer as mean.
I still had a lot more restraint then I did before.
Knowing just when to shut that trap door.
I am vowing to crawl out of this hole and return.
In the face of the others who were watching me burn.
For sometime I have seen the hearts of men fall.
Not clear on the meaning of any or all.
They can come and they can go away.
Take from me and not mean what they say.
Speak ill of me and spread the worst of lies.
No longer a boy in me that hides and cries.
I am monster hiding in the shadow of man.
Speak my name and I'll get you if I can.
No more of me inside here.
Just anger & hate without fear.
I will come back to living in shreded threads.
Content on leaving a trail of broken heads.
Yet I know myself well and grace is present.
They follow the pack and who hasn't.
We know only what we hear to be true.
Can I avoid the "They" becoming you?'
Can I shake the stories about me and start a new?
Will the words I hear ever again be true?
Now the virus takes hold and I am evicted
Have not been sickly or restricted.
Yet something calls me to the street.
Something takes me from my feet.
Something wants me to come back to the dark.
This raging fire from a lonely spark.
Even the program that was a sure thing.
Denied on request I heard the lady sing.
I am in awe of the curse and it's power.
To the street I will not lose another hour.
I can't keep up with so many losing it all.
Here comes another stumble to fall.
Now I feel it and I stand and shout.
I am what happens when you are cast out.