I may not of always known what exactly I have had right in front of me.

I in the offenses of my past was blinded by their actions and left me full of doubt and disbelief.

I could never escape the bond that I never willingly wanted to form with you none the less.

I acted out in ways to separate myself from these feelings inside of my chest

I in reflection on my actions after cleaning up my thoughts and seeing my lack

the mistakes I made regretfully are not something I get to take back.

Yet here in the past we go back and you obviously wont forgive.

You say you do but no you don't I want what we could have and the life we could live.

You hold the key, you have my heart, you are the only one I would have ever bet everything on yet you are so smart.

You know, though you don't listen, you understand though you only assume, and you in all this wisdom can tell me my heart.

You are smart, never one time have i thought that you were some dumbass but you know so much you bypass my response to your opinion and refuse to see past that.

You know what you know from your point of view according to your circumstances and your past, but there is so much in this glass you look right past.

You see my faults yet hide from your own, disregard your heartlessness and the things that I have been shown.

I am the opposite force in this world, the ying to your yang and the girl for you boy.

You are made one way, and I am another, yet in the imperfections we are the whole we are meant to be lovers.

Once in a lifetime we have the chance, though we have not sat on the sidelines of what we thought was love.

We were just conditioned for this moment and we can choose to know one another and to walk the path ordained from above.

You may not of been the one I wanted to choose,

not because of you but because of the prior abuse.

But you are the one, chosen by fate, you are the only one for me I love you Nate.

I long for you and I have fought this from the word go, I wanted to believe love was a lie and that it was too late.

I can admit that I have not given you what I will give you from this point on, which is all of me just hold on it can be great

Fear and rejection and all the other shit that added up made it really hard for me to believe.

So I am admitting to you I was wrong, I am showing you another side of me

I am opening myself in a way that no one else could ever see

But if you would just let that shit lye and know that I am giving this finally an honest try,

I will love you through all the days ahead and I will never entertain another guy.

If you can, let that go, I wont even ask you to acknowledge your shit, but know that I want you and that you are the one I want til it is my time to go.

I have never, I couldn't ever, give to someone what I offer to you, it took all this bullshit for me to get to you.

I am beat down, scarred, bruised and almost cast out, but you in the same mentality will be more to me and I to you than we ever knew.


You are number one, You don't quite see that now, but give me a minute and I will show you but you are the one I chose I shut everyone else out.

I want you to see that I think you are worth it too, my wah wah monkey is all I think about....