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The Lone Samurai.
I've heard that spiritually, we choose the person who will be us when we come into this world. I had seen the Life before me once, shown to me when I was very small. The labor, the heart aches, the horror and trials that lay before me... and I begged for them to take me with them. I didn't want to go back down there. Back to the gravitational pull, to the unavoidable path that lay before me. My heart was broken first, a very long time ago indeed.
"That's just not how this works." Is what I heard in my mind as I was suddenly vacuumed from behind me, back to where I was before in an instant.
Born premature by 5 weeks, and weighing less than 5lbs I had to remain in the hospital until I gained some weight. I don't know how long it took. Camp LeJeune Military Base hospital it says on one of my birth certificates.
I was born Leasure. Adopted into Haar. Then adopted again into Peacock, even though I had been honest with my mother when she asked me if I wanted that man to be my dad. I had no reason at all to doubt what my gut was telling me.
Well, then it was raining. And then he was crying. Out in the rain. If she didn't care what I had to say, didn't believe me when I told her he tried to drown me, then why didn't she go out with an umbrella instead of making me do it? I even had to say "sorry". I don't know what for. I hadn't done anything wrong.
So traumatized I was at 4 yrs old, that this as well as many other incidents where someone was trying to literally do away with me, and make it look like an accident were shoved way into the subconscious recesses of my mind that I wouldn't have the ability to understand, or have all these weird puzzle pieces suddenly fit together in my mind and almost fall to my knees.... until much later in life. Approximately 50 yrs later. All it took was one Japanese word and it was as if someone had grabbed a loose yarn from my sweater and pulled so hard it spun me around and I had to grab onto something...
"That's just not how this works." Is what I heard in my mind as I was suddenly vacuumed from behind me, back to where I was before in an instant.
Born premature by 5 weeks, and weighing less than 5lbs I had to remain in the hospital until I gained some weight. I don't know how long it took. Camp LeJeune Military Base hospital it says on one of my birth certificates.
I was born Leasure. Adopted into Haar. Then adopted again into Peacock, even though I had been honest with my mother when she asked me if I wanted that man to be my dad. I had no reason at all to doubt what my gut was telling me.
Well, then it was raining. And then he was crying. Out in the rain. If she didn't care what I had to say, didn't believe me when I told her he tried to drown me, then why didn't she go out with an umbrella instead of making me do it? I even had to say "sorry". I don't know what for. I hadn't done anything wrong.
So traumatized I was at 4 yrs old, that this as well as many other incidents where someone was trying to literally do away with me, and make it look like an accident were shoved way into the subconscious recesses of my mind that I wouldn't have the ability to understand, or have all these weird puzzle pieces suddenly fit together in my mind and almost fall to my knees.... until much later in life. Approximately 50 yrs later. All it took was one Japanese word and it was as if someone had grabbed a loose yarn from my sweater and pulled so hard it spun me around and I had to grab onto something...
