Lost in myself yet again

Thought I overcame this fucking feeling so please explain to me why it's back with a vengeance it seems

Do you know the one where you feel like a part of you is missing?

An overall emptiness that just won't cease

Life felt almost perfect for a short time period, I knew it felt way too nice to stay that way

Feeling like a millisecond, if that until it went away

Until here came depression like the kool-aid man

Bursting through the walls I tried barricading my mind with

Following up right behind was anxiety, walking in quite slowly but arriving on cue too

Looking around nervously, you would think they were lost

But Nah they came for any piece of sanity I have left

The perfect evil duo, those sick and twisted two

Together wreaking havoc on many mentally unstable freaks like yours truly

Stealing so much serotonin, everyone will have to call me Catherine for the time being

Until I am able to even get a small amount back, Sarah is not even here any more folks

Needing the light invoked back in my entire being

A legitimate fear I seem to have kept since childhood haunts me deep since I seem to have had it move in as my neighbors on every side of me even across the street

Surrounding and engulfing me, darkness seizing my oxygen intake

Until wrapping its hands around my neck ignites a small speck of light in my chest

Activating the fight for my life, kicking with all my might

Breathing in the air, feeling the blood remaining to run through my veins

a grim expression on the reapers face as he vanishes, like an empty-handed thief in the night

Shining too bright, an eruption of flames from the inside out has him fleeing from my sight

Never knowing the destruction I was causing to myself would free me eventually over time

Like a Phoenix, fire blazing from within until there's nothing more than ashes to Rise and be reborn from once again

© SarahAbell

#pheonix
#rise