Author’s Note: I wrote this piece to help myself process some trauma, then altered it slightly to use it in a novel when one of my characters was trying to cope with a childhood of abuse. This is the version that appears in that book, “Inner Demons.” (Book Eight of “The Silver Society.”)

I'M OKAY

Running from my demons,
And the Devil's on my back.
I thought that I was finally free,
Then from nowhere, the past attacks.

Cause the darkness always finds me,
Though I'm clinging to the light.
It's a never ending battle,
But I still gotta fight.

Well the days are getting longer,
But I get lost in the night,
And the Angels fight the demons,
But I don't know who is right,

Cause these voices in my mind are screaming,
"Just give in and die!"
But I know I cannot do that because
All they do is lie,

And I wanna run away from
All the chaos in my mind,
But I know I cannot do that
Cause I'm only running blind.

And the biggest lie I'll tell today
Is that I'm okay.
Yeah, the biggest lie I'll tell today
Is that I'm okay.

You can't outrun the past
Cause it's always right behind you.
No matter where you try to hide,
The demons always find you,

And even as I stumble,
I must try and find my way,
Cause the only other option
Is to live another day.

There are things in life that
You cannot erase,
And there are horrors in this world that
You've just got to face.

Hold my head up high,
With a smile on my face,
Say everything is fine,
Although that is not the case.

And the biggest lie I'll tell today
Is that I'm okay.
Yeah, the biggest lie I'll tell today
Is that I'm okay.

If I say it over again,
Maybe this time it'll be true.
This cycle's got to end.
Cause I'm over it, I'm through.

Gotta break free for real
Before I get lost in the dark.
Can't ignore how I feel,
Can't deny it left a mark,

But it does not define me
And I know that deep inside.
Gotta face this and confront it
Cause there's no time left to hide.

I'm drowning in the darkness
But I know I'll find the light.
I am stronger than these demons
And I'll always win the fight.

And the biggest lie I'll tell today
Is that I'm okay.
But the biggest truth I'll tell today
Is I'll be okay.

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