I can't see myself... I find a shadow, the part that was angry when his family left. The imperfection of impelling an ideal so abstract, it leaves you with marinating ignorance, endowing a sense of stupidity. Though, others see a part of me. Never the true me.

The me that cries at the shadows of his past, the me that's scared to move forward because others may see him differently, the me that screams within himself in such a begrudging way, the me that smiles too little and the me that never does his best.

Though, now I see myself. Not from my eyes, but the descriptions of another. She said "You're you... every bit of you is beautiful, the painful parts and your smile." I disagree... I cannot see myself because it's not me yet. It's an image I desire myself to be. It's not me, it's a sculpture of a man. The man I desire to be.

The man that takes his dreams, goals and aspirations seriously. The man that goes out and feels good with the body he is in. The man that never lies with a smile and a man that will always keep his promise. This man... is a part of me that's in the making. Not me... yet...

Change is never easy, at least that's what I want to say. But, this change is easy... it's just action. Though, this action is never taken, not out ignorance. It is out of fear... fear of domino change. To see it change so suddenly and never truly learn from that change. It's an unfounded fear.

So... change I shall do. Never to complain or lie, but to achieve. For the sake of my happiness, I will conform to my ideal and put in the extreme hard work to ease into such a feat.

Therefore, I will not break my promises. To you, the people reading this letter, this is my stance... The sculpture of the man I desire to be shall come intrinsic to my very value. I will become the value I hold others. Though, this may be easy physically, it will not be easy mentally. I hope you heed these words and find solace in my declaration of change.

Yours Truly, Process 12


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