These words i have been reminiscing in my head
Through the day's work and through the night
I toss and I turn on my bed
For hours;
My brainstem aches in defeat.

What is happening to me? I wonder!
Why can't I come to a decision in my ponder?
I am no genius
But i think with ease
Why, then does my answer escape me like a cog (Slipping out of mouth unchaste: causing discomfort for days; still... unsatisfied).

Unsettled, I arose from my pretend slumber
Just like i did yesterday;
Like the day before
And the day that came before the previous day that became yesterday.

I arose and my quandary wanes
Sweet comfort engulfs me like a cloud of smoke
Smiling;
I crackled my fingers and my neck:
A stoned coker finding the balance between high and sober.

I am no stranger to this moment
I have lived it a dozen times: Every day like the last, and every new day a script for the next.
With any luck the tension will drop from my body like a book falling off the shelve.
But when luck eludes the tension lingers longer fondling my skin with a cold-like touch; a pleased lover biding a slow farewell.

Up I get with my new found relief;
Rushing to the bathroom for a splash of cold water on an expertly cleansed face.
No stress here, my legs know the way.
Do something enough it becomes a memory
Do it a dozen more times: bet it is achieved with your eyes closed like a reflex coined by a memory.
But before i digress let me take you back on
A
Me-mo-ry
Lane....
To my question
Am I pretty?



PART I




© shalex