I stood in a crowd, a little further from the stage, just a little further from the spotlight. It wasn’t a high neither a low point. It was nothing like getting my point taken. I just stood further away for a day.

I needed a different perception other than my emotions. I needed a different view other than what I closely saw. There’s more than enough burried down but it can’t give meaning to it all.

I needed to see and not just feel, to see how men celebrated their wins as fathers, to see if in the crowd or perhaps on stage was a man looking down with regret of not delivering what’s labeled “best”. I needed to see.

I needed to see and perhaps feel for the ones who couldn’t celebrate this day because they’ve lost the ones needed for this day. Perhaps a father, or a child, those who aren’t able to celebrate this day for no fault of their own.

It’s getting harder by second, I noticed a heavy wave of anger and unforgiveness, some weep for their children, abandoned and left to survive on their own, I began to grieve too. What had happened?

Poor little thing, so brittle yet so much pain is etched to their skin, poor little thing, so vulnerable yet there’s no better way out. Poor little thing. Fathers are heroes, it’s their onus to make sure every child has one.

The anger I witnessed was from women, for a second I landed in turmoil, was it father’s day or baby daddy’s day. Perhaps, you could help me see, perhaps you could leave me a note. I understand.

Women are celebrated too on this day, for they have grown strong and firm. They have worked harder than ordinary, they’ve held-on on thorns and broken glasses. They’ve walked barefoot and they made sure abdicate wasn’t a word pronounced.

Holding on a little longer, no matter the circumstances or consequences, life has to keep moving. Our emotions may serve us moments to justify certain factors but we have to keep going.

My eyes have gotten heavy, closed but I could still see much. Regardless of the pains surrounding the globe, fathers. You’re appreciated, honoured and respected. The only one you can be better than, is yourself.

So, to every father and father figure…

Happy Father’s Day even if you failed once or twice. Happy Father’s Day even if you didn’t get to choose. Happy Father’s Day even if you are the only one. Happy Father’s Day because you deserve a day to be acknowledged. Happy Father’s day even if it’s delayed.

© Amalia N.K Haikali