Emptiness.
Ever found yourself looking at it?
Such a curse and a blessing,
if thought of differently.

For me it's both.

Looking at my surroundings,
I wonder if I have lost my connections.
I hate connections with those,
therefore a blessing.
I desire connections with them,
therefore a curse.

Is this an illness, or a medicine?
My apathy.
I have been positive,
a pleasant night was it.
Now I have become anhedonic,
since come morning.

Everyday is like this,
I have been losing purpose,
from time to time.
Motivate me, I say to my mind.
But it ignores.

Mornings.
New days,
they kill me everyday.
The thought of getting by the whole day,
makes me loathe it.

Is this life?
Where did my purpose go?
Where did my motivation go?
Where did my mind go?
Have they all perished?

It feels like torture,
if I could have sliced my brain,
I could have been free from my never-ending torture.

New days, new beginnings
they say.
New days, same thinking,
I say.



© Ophelia