Every night i lay alone in bed
Wishing you were still here
Wishing i never made any mistakes
And i could see you smile
I think about what could've never been
As you took me for that ride
I try so hard to hate you
I try to make you as unimportant as you've made me feel
But, i picture your jaw line where it meets your lips and it gets hard to breathe
I press the blade against my throat
Please make this my last night
And as the tears stream down my face
I break down and full on cry
I would give anything to be loyal to your smile
I spent so much time accepting you
I never accepted myself
But then sometimes i realize
The person i hate the most
Is staring back at me in the mirror
And everything I've lost
I start to think about all we could be
I can't stand by and watch you give the love to someone else, the love you promised me
And if i were to take my life
I wonder if somehow i could see you
I wonder how much you'd blame yourself
And i don't want to put that on you
As you fall to your knees in tears
When you got the news
And i know you'd skip my funeral and refuse to accept it was the end
As you lay in bed at night in anger
Screaming to the otherside, "you fucking took my best friend."
You'd know somewhere I'd be watching over you and you know I'd be proud
You know I'd be...