Mobile diary entry 47, season 13
attempting to suppress the urge
the addiction to put on the cape
continue my superhero duties
watching from the cape
near the lighthouse
to see who calls my name
If I may shed my pride and thickheaded skin
may I admit I tire so much from this
I run to the rescue to every burning building
under the presumption that I could somehow put it out
that for whatever reason I with no training
can defuse a bomb before it starts
yet all I do is play therapist
try to allow others to smile and laugh
by reciting all the nonsense I grew up on that allowed me to do the same
but we are not the same
we all have different tastes
so I falter yet still proceed
only to constantly give advice to me
since no one else is really listening
not like I am one to blame them
Rarely ever do I, myself, follow the advice given to by worried voices
though I appreciate their words and concern
like they appreciate mine
I just wish I could do more than type away at a keyboard
when I have already once in memory ran halfway across town in a panic attack to make sure someone was alright
While now I'm sacrificing sleep to numb the tension in my head but also to find a way to save someone
from the notion of wanting to die
but what does a boy on antidepressants
the drug ironically so embedded in my history
even though the pool they cover are deep
this is for me to feel better but young me is screaming
these things have destroyed me near irreparably so now I use them to fix me
so I ask again
what does a boy on antidepressants say to save someone from their ideas
What do I say when I've said everything
planes and miles stop me from running to their doorstep unannounced
banging on their door, to burst through and hug them
planes, miles and money like always stop me from doing anything
I refuse to stand by...