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Silent Struggles
Inspired by “Explaining my depression to my mother: A conversation” by Sabrina Benaim. This is a Spoken word poetry meant to spread awareness on Depression and Self Harm. .
Weeks of despair while I am surviving all the days.
When those School breaks come in and that’s were I don’t turn.
All I could do is stay for reasons unsaid and when I did, ignorance met my tears filled eyes.
The only norm is hypersomnia that cages me in its arm and never lets me free but then I am met with Insomnia that swoops me up and throws me down the floor.
My dysmorphia doesn’t leave me alone and my lies of abstaining self harm from my counsellor.
Just so they can’t call my close ones when my arms are filled with carves.
When terrors hit me, anxiety, sweating and tingly fingers and I just want to run-away but I am locked away.
When I am finally free, a predator almost consumes me “Why aren’t you in class”
I have a lot of reasons but I wish you knew if you could understand.
The words were so harsh that I was told off,
You repulsed my locutions and heard someone else.
No reason to come to me, you had all you could have.
Still you made life worser than hell and I wonder what’s burning inside.
I was jovial with a few until I faced you with a true facade thinking you were a green radiance
Daunting me to the perfect score and yet you lost what I was happy at the most.
Until you call yourself “The kindest human” and that’s just a myth.
I faced what everyone could see, yet they showed disregard because they loved you.
I am on stair case sobbing while hiding and wiping my face from a few, its not that hard they say.
If only you knew how my body fidgets before going to sleep, thinking all the worsts days and reasons to not go.
They say why don’t I talk but I gaslight them thinking that I talk, but the truth is when I talk you find me those most annoying person to talk to.
You don’t listen because you care about yourself talking, how selfish can you be
Your so dang selfish that it made me all alone and the reason for my despair and I only wish if you knew.
© Waverywaves
Weeks of despair while I am surviving all the days.
When those School breaks come in and that’s were I don’t turn.
All I could do is stay for reasons unsaid and when I did, ignorance met my tears filled eyes.
The only norm is hypersomnia that cages me in its arm and never lets me free but then I am met with Insomnia that swoops me up and throws me down the floor.
My dysmorphia doesn’t leave me alone and my lies of abstaining self harm from my counsellor.
Just so they can’t call my close ones when my arms are filled with carves.
When terrors hit me, anxiety, sweating and tingly fingers and I just want to run-away but I am locked away.
When I am finally free, a predator almost consumes me “Why aren’t you in class”
I have a lot of reasons but I wish you knew if you could understand.
The words were so harsh that I was told off,
You repulsed my locutions and heard someone else.
No reason to come to me, you had all you could have.
Still you made life worser than hell and I wonder what’s burning inside.
I was jovial with a few until I faced you with a true facade thinking you were a green radiance
Daunting me to the perfect score and yet you lost what I was happy at the most.
Until you call yourself “The kindest human” and that’s just a myth.
I faced what everyone could see, yet they showed disregard because they loved you.
I am on stair case sobbing while hiding and wiping my face from a few, its not that hard they say.
If only you knew how my body fidgets before going to sleep, thinking all the worsts days and reasons to not go.
They say why don’t I talk but I gaslight them thinking that I talk, but the truth is when I talk you find me those most annoying person to talk to.
You don’t listen because you care about yourself talking, how selfish can you be
Your so dang selfish that it made me all alone and the reason for my despair and I only wish if you knew.
© Waverywaves
