I'm scared,
the scratching, the pacing, the incohearent mumbling, the frustration and utter fear,
I don't know what happened to me that night,
I don't want it to happen again
What if she saw me?
Is this another thing I have to hide?
One more skeleton in the closet?
One more tuck in the sock drawer?
Why couldn't I just be normal?
Why couldn't I keep it bottled up?
Why couldn't the universe just give her a normal god damned child?
I'm just a mere play thing for the world to dispose of once everyone has turned away from me and left because it was bored.
It was bored with okay
Bored with healthy
Bored with normal
Bored with what she wanted me to be

and there's nothing i can do
© smolman