Looking outside the window we call eyes
To gaze upon my being in a light
I would so much want to be put out
Cast aside to be forgotten
I would much desire to love the light
However I loathe it
As It only highlights my being in a way It won't be notice
In the darkest nevertheless
I would love to be in the darkness
Unnoticed by the mere soul
But the souls I see fit to gaze upon me
The ones I feel are the building blocks to my broken being
If I wanted I would loathe every person who casts an eye on me
But I wouldn’t in any way do that
As I do need their validation to belong
I need them to judge me and correct my flaws
All of them
Including the one of existence
Breathing the same air as them
If I wanted I would do them justice and correct that flaw
But only the brave can
If I wanted I would be the fairest of them all
But all I can do is wish solely
As I cast an eye on my ugly
WIshing to be concealed but yet revealed
Wanting to be noticed and yet go unnoticed
Maybe in my next life I will be the fair maiden
As for this life has proven rather difficult to get even close to that goal
I love that my soul has accepted my fate without a fight
I love the way I have given in to the darkness
Away from the light completely
Avoiding it at all cost
As I have finally found peace in the darkness
I once loathed
Accepting it as it consumes me and shows me what I always avoided
The truth about how I carry myself
Hate myself and others that pretend to love me
As they only feel pity for me
If I wanted I would discard them for they have made me delusional
Thinking I belong in the light
I love them for their effort
Loathing them for their lie
If I wanted I would be like they wanted me to be
But that is not me
As I am not as I want to be


© All Rights Reserved