Reflection
The person looking back at me,
from my mirrors brutal gaze,
Bears no clear resemblance
of my body or my face...
I can't believe I look so old,
my hairs gray, and I'm fat...
How come he's still here I ponder;
he never signed up for that...
I look away disgusted,
with who I've grown to be,
Now I have to be ashamed;
that ugly persons' me...
I'm sorry when he looks my way,
that this is what he sees...
No wonder he keeps his options open,
in case he ever leaves...
I couldnt even blame him,
if he was unfaithful,
a real friend would let him go;
expecting him to stay seems hateful...
with a second glance,
into my evil looking glass...
I see the pain I have endured,
and how lifes kicked my ass
I reflect on how hard I've fought to be
someone that makes me proud
I spent so much time hating myself
I wore hate like a shroud...
With a deep inhale, and one last look,
in my mirrors direction.
I bravely lift my head to see,
at last my horrible reflection...
I looked into my eyes this time
and Thats where I saw the spark
The light inside them is beckoning
it illuminates the dark
Turns out Inside I am not ugly.
theres beauty to be seen...
Hopefully he sees past my flesh
and loves whats in between.
Heidi Shavill
2016
from my mirrors brutal gaze,
Bears no clear resemblance
of my body or my face...
I can't believe I look so old,
my hairs gray, and I'm fat...
How come he's still here I ponder;
he never signed up for that...
I look away disgusted,
with who I've grown to be,
Now I have to be ashamed;
that ugly persons' me...
I'm sorry when he looks my way,
that this is what he sees...
No wonder he keeps his options open,
in case he ever leaves...
I couldnt even blame him,
if he was unfaithful,
a real friend would let him go;
expecting him to stay seems hateful...
with a second glance,
into my evil looking glass...
I see the pain I have endured,
and how lifes kicked my ass
I reflect on how hard I've fought to be
someone that makes me proud
I spent so much time hating myself
I wore hate like a shroud...
With a deep inhale, and one last look,
in my mirrors direction.
I bravely lift my head to see,
at last my horrible reflection...
I looked into my eyes this time
and Thats where I saw the spark
The light inside them is beckoning
it illuminates the dark
Turns out Inside I am not ugly.
theres beauty to be seen...
Hopefully he sees past my flesh
and loves whats in between.
Heidi Shavill
2016