To My Babies My Team Mommys 4 heart beats I'm sorry for making a promise I couldn't keep for breaking yalI hearts due to my selfish needs💔 from taking a sip of that drink I was a recovering addict over 1 year clean discharged from drug court due to 2 alcohol dirtys I was on level 4 only 1 month left no time for messups that's what the judge said as I walked out in tears and regrets what was I thinking how could I be so selfish it was because of my choices I broke my babies hearts again😭 When I came so far it was the proudest moment fighting my addiction and making it through 9 months of treatment i did it for myself to find who I am fought thru my demons of a painful past I may never forget yet my heart was able to forgive as she fought with that Lil girl and found the Warrior within. I thought I could handle it that's what I made myself believe whatever life threw my way I wouldn't let it get the best of me damn I thought I was so strong I ignored all their ruthless comments constantly throwing my past in my face refusing to see my new vision reminding me of the pain I caused my kids because of my addiction why they have to break me down every day when I needed uplifted I got a job working 12hr shifts 5 days a week no congratulations to drug testing and my classes & taking care of my children still ain't enough for them to see how far I come fighting my sobriety for myself and my family it was mental & emotional abuse behind closed doors reliving demons that only broke my heart I thought I could handle it damn look I came so far but I made that choice to take that sip how could I be so weak letting my addiction win the hardest battle im fighting within July 7th is the last time I saw my kids my brother kicked me out for drinking his bottle and finding my cigarettes it kills me inside every day knowing I'm the reason their heart breaking 2 phone calls a week with no visits since July 7th this battle my soul fighting damn my heart shattered 💔 days I don't want to get out of bed waking up without them drowned in tears and regrets the biggest mistake that I have to forever live with how do I forgive myself where do I even start to pick up the pieces of a shattered heart 💔I'm sorry Mommy let y'all down again when I took that sip because of my selfish choices I wake up every day without my team💔 I just hope and pray y'all will never forget who I am💔I'll always be your mother y'all will always be my children my love will never die for it is unconditional on days yall feel alone and wishing you could see Mommy close your eyes in yall hearts where I'll always be missing you guys every moment yall away from me as I'm holding tight onto all the memories pictures and videos all I see of my babies my team I'll never stop loving My 4 heart beats Until my day comes I take my last breath I pray and hope y'all never forget who I am💔😭
© Loata Moala