It started with the symptoms,
And slowly i had everything,
From headache to pain in my deep tissues and every inch of my bones.
Every hour i vomitted
with splling blood all over,
It was like I had a tap fitted inside.
The pain was gradual,
first it tingled like feather
and then punches as hard as it can,
with everything altogether,
I had severe blood loss,
People were scared about how pale i look,
there were clear sores all over my body,
Followed by unintended weight loss.
It marked up everyday
particularly when i got llb mets (lung liver bone metastasis)
i could sense my end was getting close,
every time i entered the hospice premises,
From one OPD to another,
Finally i entered the cancer OPD
I was diagnosed with a final stage,
I just felt so done
The treatment was even more dreadful than the symptoms
They started the chemo (chemotherapy),
It had more downsides than the benefits, in tons
i almost looked like a bald alien
with no body fat, just salient.
I appeared as i was bleached,
with sickening bruises all over.
It went to next level with radiotherapy,
when the radiations penetrated me,
It drained all my energy,
I felt so exhausted, barely alive to be.
The level of anxiety i had,
made me go crazy and super bad.
In the end i was regularly breathless.
My oxygen level was almost nil,
they came running, i was still like a corpse,
The ET tube was appalling
Every one was draining,
and thereby one held of my legs,
other group held my hands,
they then brought a hose like tube
and the intubation was done.
I was on ventilator,
The daily suctioning was like a death blow,
Had severe pains, nobody knew.
though i was unconscious,
I was able to feel the presence of darkness which was bout to engulf me,
It was right beside me I knew,
When i was numb things went sideways,
In an instant i was feeling breathless again,
I thought ventilator was on, I couldn't look.
But something was really wrong,
There was a fluctuation in current,
Sadly there was no one as an observant,
I tried everything to breathe on my own,
It was a lost cause.
I had no energy and my lungs had collapsed,
time flew past and my soul was blown
I felt nothing, no pain.
In a trice i felt so light and weightless,
Then i realised the unnatural things,
the people around me,
were all in bright white and glowing,
though it wasn't a bloody one,
I was dead and nobody noticed.

"dying is not so plain
it makes us remain
gives us all kinds of pain
and then it obtains (our soul)"

【●llb mets:- lung liver bone metastasis. A condition where the cancerous cells spreads to these organs and the survival rate becomes almost nil.

●ET tube:- endotracheal tube
●intubation:- ET tube is inserted invasively and is really painful. In emergency, no anesthesia is given.
●suctioning:- a procedure, its done in order to clear all the secretions and as the name suggests, it sucks the secretions and the pain the person bears is not measurable】

#judypens
Sorry but there's isnt any bloody blood death here in my story but tried really hard to make it painful. Hope you all will like it because its almost a real life thing which i have witnessed many times.
@Yrus thanks to my anna for this great challenge and also considered me worthy to write in this challenge.. 😊
#100waysidie
© jessj