Author's Note to Readers: This poem is based off of real life events, and is dedicated to someone who will never read this. Thank you to my family and my best friends on writco, I am smiling and laughing more. I am trying to heal from this, even though it is on going.


When the doctors told me my heart attack was caused from too much stress and sadness,
I told them it was from my broken heart.
Maybe I realized it before,
but decided to brush past it.

I stayed with you and loved you,
so much that I was blinded.
I wanted your approval and acceptance,
so I gave you myself to mold as you liked.
I needed you to see me as important,
so I handed my steering wheel to you without thinking.
I had to please you to keep you,
so I tossed my personality away.
I chose to give you your dream version of me,
so I was left with very few smiles and laughs.
I pushed myself further than I could go for you,
so I drained all my energy in the end.

Everytime I look in the mirror,
I see pieces of my puzzle disappearing into dust.
Everytime we talk over the phone,
I hide my silent tears from you.
Everytime you see me in person,
I play a fake part for you.
Everytime you race through my mind,
I feel myself sinking deeper in the sand.

Every disappearing puzzle piece,
a part of my soul.
Every silent tear,
another pool I drown in.
Every fake performance I play,
one more personality trait I lose.
Every thought of you,
a stab in my heart.

All for you,
why do I do this?

All for you,
I do this because I love you with all my breaking heart.


All For You- Something I can never tell you, but always have to deal with.

-- Lauren R.
© #outriderlauren