Deep thoughts running through my mind,
Like a star I always wanted to shine,
You see pain in my eyes but the tears don't fall much,
Feeling lonely and wanted someone to love me sometimes leads to lust,
Sometimes I lower my standards just to feel a glow,
Maybe that special someone will come into my life but you never know,
Self love has to comes from within but seems so hard to reach,
All these emotions inside that I need to release,
Take a piece of my heart in return for peace, love and happiness,
Reminiscing my thoughts while making a positive list,
Some days depression sits in and changes the mood,
Some days it's hard to deal with my own attitude,
I feel so distance from reality not knowing my meaning in life,
Flash backs from when I got stabbed with a knife,
The past still affects me even though I should leave it behind,
Way more tragedies that I have to get off my mind,
Pretending that I'm stronger then I am always seems like the best way to deal with my pain,
Soul searching seems like the hardest thing to gain,
Sometimes my mind goes in the clouds and my emotions disappears,
Wanting answers to questions are far from near,
Using drugs was a way to delay my responsibilities,
Bad decisions will leave you handing your own liabilities,
Feeling trapped and controlled seems so unbearable,
My mind is in thoughts praying this ends up being a miracle,
Stabling my mind with these words to prepare myself mentally,
Playing my cards right with the hand that was delt to me,
If only I can handle the pressure and maintain being sober,
In my mind I tell myself remain strong and be a soldier....
© K_Alisha