Writco folks think I want to murder
Well of course that isn't true
When I imagine myself ending a man's life
I imagine someone killing my father

Then I think about myself, definitely selfish
If I died a random shocking death
My parents lives would he ruined
Many others affected deeply

I make mistakes but made many connections
Blew most off and became a stoner
Even after I quit interactions changed
I dread small talk, used to talk too much

These people would still attend my funeral
I can picture my parents being there
Dressed up trying to keep it together
After losing a child they did everything for

I hate myself when I imagine I die young
Knowing I'm at risk but still taking risks
It's not even that I'm scared to leave
I'm scared of my parents finding out

I'm still taking years off my life day by day
I'll be another unexpected heart attack
I pray it's after my parents are gone
So they don't ever have to get that call

I made a poem earlier today
Saying I wish I could just kill like in GTA
Rob cars for fun and rob the guns
If someone robbed my dad I'd want revenge
© speed