I truly adore those people
Who happens to be close to you
Lots of shenanigans and weirdness
But when a fight breaks on
Acts like you don't know one another
And proceeds their day as if you are just a stranger

Then they can go on for days, even months
And when all is well
Acts like nothing happened
Like how to be you???

I mean
I kind of understand those people
They went through even worse stuff than I did

That's why I adore them
Because at such an early time
They are able to break through the depressive and anxious times

If only I could be like that
Then I wouldn't have to worry about what others think

I held on to the thought that I'm strong
But I'm starting to realize they were right

Crying isn't a sign of maturity or strength
Protecting yourself with or without hurting others is always a sign of pride
Overthinking is annoying to others, even loved ones
Bad times will always overshadow the good times
People... I can not find the right words to express my confusion towards these beings

Well
Not like there are people like me
But let me hold on to that thought as to feed my paranoia

I am often lead to a slope
Where I'd question my very being

I have been trying to stick with my own beliefs
That for as long as I cry when I feel genuine pain
Pain from anxiety or arguments or physical hurt
The heavy load will slowly drift away

But no

Years of doing so
Only added more load everytime it happens

What I did notice though
Is that that heavy load lightens
When you talk to someone
Who you trust with your life

But what happens when they leave?
I am left alone to fight for myself

I realized I am not the type of person who can fight alone
I like to be alone
But I don't...