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Reflections
Maybe I shouldn't have.
Maybe I shouldn't have pulled the trigger.
Maybe I shouldn't have gone astray.
Maybe I shouldn't have despised correction.
Then maybe I would be here today
With the ones who love me till this day.
I'm in a world,
A different one entirely.
It's a place filled with nothing;
No one's here with me.
It's a vast land with nothing ahead,
Just dead bones and sand.
If I had known, maybe I would have tried,
Tried to be better,
Better at communicating,
Strived to be the best.
If I had known,
I would have studied,
Studied to be knowledgeable,
I would have earned my respect.
Now it's trauma,
Trauma from past memories,
Scars from past hurts,
Pain I cannot fathom.
The voices in my head—
I want them out.
Now I compete,
With myself, I contend.
I want to feel better,
But I can't.
How do I?
The unhealthy competition,
The strife and pain,
Coupled with my reactions,
Send them all away.
Now I'm hurt
And lost,
Lost in my shadows,
Filled with pain,
These pains I can share with no one
But my pen and paper.
Tobie💙
© All Rights Reserved
Maybe I shouldn't have pulled the trigger.
Maybe I shouldn't have gone astray.
Maybe I shouldn't have despised correction.
Then maybe I would be here today
With the ones who love me till this day.
I'm in a world,
A different one entirely.
It's a place filled with nothing;
No one's here with me.
It's a vast land with nothing ahead,
Just dead bones and sand.
If I had known, maybe I would have tried,
Tried to be better,
Better at communicating,
Strived to be the best.
If I had known,
I would have studied,
Studied to be knowledgeable,
I would have earned my respect.
Now it's trauma,
Trauma from past memories,
Scars from past hurts,
Pain I cannot fathom.
The voices in my head—
I want them out.
Now I compete,
With myself, I contend.
I want to feel better,
But I can't.
How do I?
The unhealthy competition,
The strife and pain,
Coupled with my reactions,
Send them all away.
Now I'm hurt
And lost,
Lost in my shadows,
Filled with pain,
These pains I can share with no one
But my pen and paper.
Tobie💙
© All Rights Reserved
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