Tonight she felt guilty again
As thoughts of self balme
Warmed it's way into her mind
Etching itself to her heart
she found it harder to smile
Sitting there she was but a glimpse of lifeless
She sat there unfazed
Eyes too dim you'd fail to see emotions
She was breaking again
The constant emotional abuses
From people who knew not that they hurt her
A surety that this time was worse
For before the tears fell from her dim eyes
A vivid thought of death flashed
And it didn't seem like a bad idea
She Relished in the thought
A wonder of what tomorrow would be like
When her body was cold and lifeless
Would they even care
Or would she be a blemish they were rid of
Her faith seemed too Dim
Almost like it wasn't there
She wanted more, but was too afraid to ask
She wished to yell, but was afraid they wouldn't hear
Gotten to used to being told she was wrong
So she bit her tongue, a quest to save her little hope
I wanted to tell her, it was a waste of time
But people around thought otherwise
A shame I was right
She once considered herself a bundle of luck
Soon that thought waned
As she felt like a curse
One that brought bad luck where ever she turned
So she kept to herself
and when sure she wasn't wrong she apologized
How was she to tell these people
That the last string of her sanity would soon snap
That she couldn't tell what was real anymore
That the darkness seemed more welcoming
That she had stopped feeling warmth
That she was becoming the very thing they ran from
That their fears had happened
And she found peace in violence
She saw it to be her retribution
For crimes she wasn't sure when she committed
Maybe her very existence was a mistake
Was she however wrong to have these thoughts?
When her very existence
Never seemed to bring happiness

My personal question was how
She survived this long
With so much damage
I needed help or so they would say
Who am I kidding help never came
It probably never would


© Dena's_poetry