Ever since I was born all I did was observe and I still do it. I find people's lives interesting but at the same time I don't. I can never figure out why people let themselves get hurt. I'm not a normal person you see. I'm emotionless. I've been that way since I was born. My parents didn't mind it like they were emotionless too. My life is difficult in other people's eyes but in my eyes my life doesn't even exist. The other day I saw a family of 4 in a car arguing. My parents weren't even talking to me. One of the kids got smacked like he overstepped boundaries. I found it interesting how the mother started crying when the kids started calming down. I wonder why she was crying. Was it because the kid said something hurtful or was it she was feeling guilty for hitting her kid. I couldn't figure it out. One day when I was at school I saw a girl confess to a boy but he lied and said he was gay. Why didn't he say he didn't like her instead of lying to her? Why do they make life harder for themselves and for the other person? Why can't they just tell the truth instead of causing more suffering? I wish I knew the answers to these questions. My father got a new job in Canada and we moved. I was 15 at the time. My mother didn't want to move like she liked her job in New York so they made me decide who I wanted to stay with. I didn't care and they didn't either but they still made me choose. In the end I decided to move with my uncle in Japan. My uncle and grandma were the only ones in the family with emotions in the whole family. I do wonder what's the meaning of leaving? Why don't I want to die? Life really is a mystery with no answers.

© Samantha_Ayala