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Sin~~ Page 5 || Confession
please read pages 1 to 4 for better understanding of context.
_______
Drawing a deep breath and exhaling, she composed herself. She drank the last of the sips from her glass and poured herself another one.
“You shouldn’t drink this much”, I worried.
“Why do you care?”, she retorted.
We both paused.
“He was right you know. You look exactly like her. Like, Your mother.”, I walked up to her and rose her face by her chin.
Our eyes met and for a second, we got lost. I hugged her tight. She rested her face on my shoulder and closed her eyes. She wrapped her hands around my waist and locked me in. Reciprocating , I caressed her back and felt the band of her bra. Befor I knew, I was moving my hand aroud her bra band. Tracing along it’s length to and fro with my bare fingers. Suddenly, I moved my 2 fingers in between her back and bra band and yanked. The hooks in her bra didn’t break but the band slid from fingers and snapped on her back.
“Ummmh.” she moaned softly in my ear. Realising what had happened, I pulled myself gently away from her and walked back towards my chair.
“Hem”, I cleared my throat avoiding any eye contact with her.
“So, So, what did he tell you about your mother?”, I avoided acknowledging the brief moment of forbidden passion by distracting her with a different conversation.
She smiled noticing my intent.
“That she was a gold digger and selfish hoe”. She spoke with ease.
“She used you. Crushed you and left you in ruins.”, she continued with the same ease.
“I know I should hate her for doing all this to you and believe me I do. Every time I think of what she did to you, I feel nothing but disdain but I don’t know why I want to know about her. I want to know, what was she like? I want know how alike apart from appearance are we ?”, She sounded regretting and wondering at the same time.
“It’s normal to be curious about your mother. I should have given you more information about her.”, I supported.
“I think its time you know about your mother. Ask whatever the questions you have about her and I shall answer”. It was hard from me to say those words but I knew it was time for her to know her mother, know about the person she wore the face of.
“What was she like?”. She began with the most complicated question of all.
I leaned back on my chair holding the glass in my hand swirling it like I was mixing things in it.
I closed my eyes and reminisced “Beautiful, Vibrant. She could enter in a room and fill it with all sorts of colors. Her laugh even though silly could brighten the darkest of days. Optimistic, she had the ability to find the bright side of everything. Cheerful and cozy. She was the most beautiful escape I had ever enjoyed. Her arms weren’t muscular but in them, I felt most protected of all from all of my worries and sorrows”.
“You are still in love with her”. She smiled.
“What ??”. I opened my eyes.
“The way you talk about her. The smile that comes on your face when someone mentions her even after all these years and all that’s done to you. You really love her to this day”. Amazed she concluded.
“Is this the reason you can’t love me?”. Disappointed, she asked.
I looked at her once again and focusing on her face, I evaded, “ So what else do you wanna know?”.
Heeding my evasion, she didn’t push for an answer.
“What happened ?”. Her curious self wanted to know things even I never understood.
“I don’t know. One moment we were growing together almost in separable and in the other moment we found ourselves growing away from each other. I think life happened. After school, we went to different colleges. I went to a fine college with a scholarship and she went to high a profile college. She was excited by seeing students coming via cars, spending money like it doesn’t matter. It was hard for her to fit in at first since she was from a middle class like me but she did manage to make some new friends. We used to meet each other after college everyday. We used to go to the same kachori shop and share a meal but gradually as she started to fit in with her new friends group, her occupancy changed and she started spending more time with them than me. We went from seeing each other everyday to once a week and then once every 2 months but we stayed friends. Kept in touch via weekend’s long calls. Social media and messaging weren’t a thing back then. You only had landlines so calls all we had. I didn’t notice any change in her. Everything seemed fine.”
“Then what ??”. Her eyes widened with curiosity as she asked.
“Well ….
To be continued…
© summerof2000
_______
Drawing a deep breath and exhaling, she composed herself. She drank the last of the sips from her glass and poured herself another one.
“You shouldn’t drink this much”, I worried.
“Why do you care?”, she retorted.
We both paused.
“He was right you know. You look exactly like her. Like, Your mother.”, I walked up to her and rose her face by her chin.
Our eyes met and for a second, we got lost. I hugged her tight. She rested her face on my shoulder and closed her eyes. She wrapped her hands around my waist and locked me in. Reciprocating , I caressed her back and felt the band of her bra. Befor I knew, I was moving my hand aroud her bra band. Tracing along it’s length to and fro with my bare fingers. Suddenly, I moved my 2 fingers in between her back and bra band and yanked. The hooks in her bra didn’t break but the band slid from fingers and snapped on her back.
“Ummmh.” she moaned softly in my ear. Realising what had happened, I pulled myself gently away from her and walked back towards my chair.
“Hem”, I cleared my throat avoiding any eye contact with her.
“So, So, what did he tell you about your mother?”, I avoided acknowledging the brief moment of forbidden passion by distracting her with a different conversation.
She smiled noticing my intent.
“That she was a gold digger and selfish hoe”. She spoke with ease.
“She used you. Crushed you and left you in ruins.”, she continued with the same ease.
“I know I should hate her for doing all this to you and believe me I do. Every time I think of what she did to you, I feel nothing but disdain but I don’t know why I want to know about her. I want to know, what was she like? I want know how alike apart from appearance are we ?”, She sounded regretting and wondering at the same time.
“It’s normal to be curious about your mother. I should have given you more information about her.”, I supported.
“I think its time you know about your mother. Ask whatever the questions you have about her and I shall answer”. It was hard from me to say those words but I knew it was time for her to know her mother, know about the person she wore the face of.
“What was she like?”. She began with the most complicated question of all.
I leaned back on my chair holding the glass in my hand swirling it like I was mixing things in it.
I closed my eyes and reminisced “Beautiful, Vibrant. She could enter in a room and fill it with all sorts of colors. Her laugh even though silly could brighten the darkest of days. Optimistic, she had the ability to find the bright side of everything. Cheerful and cozy. She was the most beautiful escape I had ever enjoyed. Her arms weren’t muscular but in them, I felt most protected of all from all of my worries and sorrows”.
“You are still in love with her”. She smiled.
“What ??”. I opened my eyes.
“The way you talk about her. The smile that comes on your face when someone mentions her even after all these years and all that’s done to you. You really love her to this day”. Amazed she concluded.
“Is this the reason you can’t love me?”. Disappointed, she asked.
I looked at her once again and focusing on her face, I evaded, “ So what else do you wanna know?”.
Heeding my evasion, she didn’t push for an answer.
“What happened ?”. Her curious self wanted to know things even I never understood.
“I don’t know. One moment we were growing together almost in separable and in the other moment we found ourselves growing away from each other. I think life happened. After school, we went to different colleges. I went to a fine college with a scholarship and she went to high a profile college. She was excited by seeing students coming via cars, spending money like it doesn’t matter. It was hard for her to fit in at first since she was from a middle class like me but she did manage to make some new friends. We used to meet each other after college everyday. We used to go to the same kachori shop and share a meal but gradually as she started to fit in with her new friends group, her occupancy changed and she started spending more time with them than me. We went from seeing each other everyday to once a week and then once every 2 months but we stayed friends. Kept in touch via weekend’s long calls. Social media and messaging weren’t a thing back then. You only had landlines so calls all we had. I didn’t notice any change in her. Everything seemed fine.”
“Then what ??”. Her eyes widened with curiosity as she asked.
“Well ….
To be continued…
© summerof2000
