Its the monday morning. I have to ready for my college. No, no .. not as student but as an assistant professor. Ya right, I am currently an employee of a degree college. I know it's sounds to be cool as a professor of a degree college or a engineering college and it is noble job among all other professions but it is boaring too, same students, same class, same brainless director. And if you once get connected to students than batches end and bring the new face whome we have to teach same thing as earlier. I know you must wondering that i am here in boaring job since 1 year then what makes me moving on. In that case off course your parents is ultimate strength and they are the reasons of your every joy and happiness but i am the lucky one , because i have another one too that keeps me moving on in situations and she is my sunshine my girlfriend. Our relationship is as simple as you can think and simultaneously as complex as you can imagine. How? I will explain some other time. The best thing that i wanna tell you except her smile and eyes is her sensibility. I am senior than her but only by degree not in sensibility. I really like to tell you much more about her on this topic but i don't wanna drag this to long but i promise, meet me some another day on table with cup of tea i will explain you there in details. Come to the point now, it is the Monday morning (and this is the story of my every Monday morning) i just finished my sleep and got a message of "good morning u2 mottu" ,that is reply of my good morning message that i have send her around 3 am . We chated for few minutes and get ready for college and she getting ready for her school . Did i tell you we are in long distance relationships. Yup that's the tragedy of the story. Every monday morning i use to thought this weekend i took 2 days leave and will go to patna. I will take leave on Friday catch train on the same day evening and will reach to patna nearby about evening of saturday and return by next train that just 2 hour later and still got 2 hour to meet her. But this seems as dream. And the next day on Tuesday the story repeat and train became aeroplanes. And at the weekend mind finally decided to drop the job and return back to patna permanently so that at least i can see her every morning. And now conditions changed dramatically i am in patna for a month but in lockdown situation. Means stay home. Prohibiting to get out. And this situation is much worse than that of college. I am a few steps away from her but can't see her. I don't know whome should i blame for this. Just imagine you are the person who plan daily to meet her from 1200 km . And now she is just 120 m away from you . And you can't do anything. Might be i am act as silly but believe me it is most painful things i have ever felt. And here i did something wrong that break her heart. Instead of telling the whole situation, i tried to handle it with ignorance. I just ignored her message first and than her calls too, in hope that she became very angry and to show her anger she will must come to our common meetings spot my mamaa's shope. At that time anger would be ok for me at this situation ." मै उसकी गुस्से को झेलने के लिये तैयार था पर बिना देखे दिन कट रही थी ये नहीं हो पा रहा था". I was waiting for her from day one from when i have started ignoring her message. Every evening i practice to face her anger before 5 pm and after that Prepared for face her anger with a joy of seeing her. But waste. She never came and than i realize that I became so much selfish that i didn't realize her situation. Even didn't think How she going to took this ignorance. I always makes her sad cry and this time again i have successfully make her smiling face sad. I know everything about her condition, situations but still i did this silly thing that break her heart. If you are in a relationship or had in sometimes in relationships you know very well that nothing is worse than ignorance. And i did this to her.
And remember i told you she is more sensible than me despite of junior than me.
She again forgave me. I always pretend to be the best boyfriend for her but always think of myself as bloody selfish.
I just wanna to say sorry to her.
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Arav: To chhod de tu use, jab uski happiness hi nahi tere se handle nahi ho rahi.
Me: haan yaar i always make her sad.
Arav: wahi to she deserve much better than you
Me: baat to sahi hai
Arav: to kab chhod raha hai?
Me: kise?
Arav: are abhi to bolo ki she deserve someone better than you.
Me: o bhaishab, tu nikal patali gali se, use chhodane se easy buri adaton ko naa chhod dun. Baki larka mai bhi bura nahi hun yaar.
Arav: tu sale nahi chhodega..
Me :sochana bhi maat.
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