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The Pattern
#WritcoStoryPrompt45
Write a story based on this famous excerpt from The Night Slowly Came by Kate Chopin:
I am losing my interest in human beings; in the significance of their lives and their actions. Someone has said it is better to study one man than ten books. I want neither books nor men; they make me suffer…when I see my own reflected inner beliefs being played out in my life.
I bemoan myself and curse my inapt abilitie to attract or see men differently, in a way that is fulfilling , joyous ,and truly satisfying. "Why oh Why do I see men, like a battering ram constantly hurling abuse ,or being stubborn,or worse?"
I meditate, pray, affirm positive, in my efforts to change my nner core beliefs..yet still nothing changes, the pain ,the hurt, the shame. I cannot trust,I get angry,jealous,and take refuge in drink..
The pattern remains the same, the men that appear in my life ,seem wonderful at first, nice, generous, and charming..yes charming, each and every one of them, then WHAM!!..the abuse, the control,as their dark shadow emerges, .Yet I know it is my reflection, my inner energy pulses that are drawing out the worse in them..but that dose not excuse their behaviour towards me.
Humans are complicated,me included,I understand enough to know that I am the root cause of these stifling limited male relationships, in every form..good men do exist, just not in my self created reality.
I need a new approach, in the way I define myself and understanding of that self loathing ,bitterness to men, a deeper delve into my past, a submersive dismantling of the patterns that hold me.
That grasping of what seem the few times men have been good to me,kind,loving and open, when remembered suddenly blossom into a flood of goodness,kindness and generosity, and they nearly always happened when I was in a state of consciousness self love, only to dissapear when my overiding secondary cause in life batters me into personal hatred.
My answers for me anyway and probably for anyone suffering from similar self doubt , society and peer induced ideas was to be found in what is known as "The Akashic Records"...the following is my journey and how I dismantled and changed the patterns..
TBC.
© All Rights Reserved
Write a story based on this famous excerpt from The Night Slowly Came by Kate Chopin:
I am losing my interest in human beings; in the significance of their lives and their actions. Someone has said it is better to study one man than ten books. I want neither books nor men; they make me suffer…when I see my own reflected inner beliefs being played out in my life.
I bemoan myself and curse my inapt abilitie to attract or see men differently, in a way that is fulfilling , joyous ,and truly satisfying. "Why oh Why do I see men, like a battering ram constantly hurling abuse ,or being stubborn,or worse?"
I meditate, pray, affirm positive, in my efforts to change my nner core beliefs..yet still nothing changes, the pain ,the hurt, the shame. I cannot trust,I get angry,jealous,and take refuge in drink..
The pattern remains the same, the men that appear in my life ,seem wonderful at first, nice, generous, and charming..yes charming, each and every one of them, then WHAM!!..the abuse, the control,as their dark shadow emerges, .Yet I know it is my reflection, my inner energy pulses that are drawing out the worse in them..but that dose not excuse their behaviour towards me.
Humans are complicated,me included,I understand enough to know that I am the root cause of these stifling limited male relationships, in every form..good men do exist, just not in my self created reality.
I need a new approach, in the way I define myself and understanding of that self loathing ,bitterness to men, a deeper delve into my past, a submersive dismantling of the patterns that hold me.
That grasping of what seem the few times men have been good to me,kind,loving and open, when remembered suddenly blossom into a flood of goodness,kindness and generosity, and they nearly always happened when I was in a state of consciousness self love, only to dissapear when my overiding secondary cause in life batters me into personal hatred.
My answers for me anyway and probably for anyone suffering from similar self doubt , society and peer induced ideas was to be found in what is known as "The Akashic Records"...the following is my journey and how I dismantled and changed the patterns..
TBC.
© All Rights Reserved
