A feeling burst from inside and at that moment she felt a sense of loss,something dead,something she didn't know could be so denting,puncturing her soul making the hole so visible.
It was a month of festivities,melancholy in the air as people hurried to get presents,others jetted off to festive holiday places and others like her simply inhaled the joyous ambiance in the air, it was a feeling this year that felt distant in her soul because this year was different,she was different,her body was different,it harboured a secret which was not ready to reveal itself to others,a secret that was between them so to say because in nine months she would finally share the secret with the world, but this was not so because this wasn't a joyous secret,not something she felt giggly about,instead she was appalled,flabbergasted when she saw the two lines of the test something she was sure of but didn't want to believe.
The Chambar's were close knit family like any other South African family always at each others side,helping and overstepping there boundaries but this was a norm for,a familiar doing that even though they all didn't agree they adhered to because it was a comfortability that warmed them. There head who was their mother,a full curved woman in her early 50s but still youthful and glowing taught them to enjoy life,live o the edge if they have to which didn't sit well with Mirabella who was the oldest of five who was grounded and always kept her head down as though she was not living enough as to see the wonders of the sight before her,then there was Sisley who like mother would always be youthful even in her 70s then came Lauren who was what her mother taught,these were all close just as their mother wanted which was what they liked and separated them from the rest, so on that Friday mid December when Mirabella and Lauren left to go to Durban, Sisley stayed to bond with her mother and looked forward to the crazy nights of passion with Harley but this news stopped her in tracks well knowing that this will not be received or embraced and for that reason she too didn't not receive or embrace it which made her guilty but also reassured herself that she was doing the right thing,so when she met up with Harley that evening and told him his reaction was one she knew all so well and so she went with his flow thoughts and she told him she is not keeping it and that everything was in place she was already on it,she believed herself and in that moment she looked at herself as the other person in the mirror,she looked on with disgust but it was a decision that she stood by so in the following days when she received the pills a pit was open inside her and since she was alone she felt a feeling that was unsure, something that made her feel a sense of not belonging but she took them after minutes a sense of loss took over and even the pain was excruciating she knew the pain that followed would be worse and in that moment she yearned for the siblings that would over step there boundaries as to make sure the love was felt by the other person but instead the secret that was between her and her body came out,torn and unwhole and this left with a hole in her soul that she would forever feel and woulnt allow her self to forgive..

This was a short synopsis of abortion and how it affects the women even though it was at the time a decision helpful for them.