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The Story of Clarissa Ann and I (Part 1)
So I'm gonna put into words exactly what all of my poems are about. most are about the same person. The happy, the sad, and the angry. This girl put me through so much shit. I have been in some bad relationships, but this was.....well, it was just a roller coaster of very high highs, and the lowest of lows. She broke my heart more times than I have fingers. To start off I'll say that she was married, but it really isn't as bad as it sounds, at least not in my opinion. Let me explain.
One night I was over at the house that she, I'll call her Ann, and her husband, I'll call him Gump, we're living. It was Ann's sisters place. I was friends with Gump and we were having some drinks and just hanging out. Im gonna keep this part brief because the actual details aren't super important, only the events themselves are integral to the story as a whole. So as the night wore on, we were having a good time. Ann asks me to come into the house so she could ask me a question. I was taken aback by this, also very nervous. I'll explain why later. She took me into their bedroom and dat next to me on the bed. She asked me if I would be interested in swinging with them. I had never done anything like that and at first I declined. We walked back outside and she told Gump my response. We continued to hang out a while longer until they both asked me again. They were very persistent, so finally I gave in. I won't get into the details of it, but suffice to say I wasn't comfortable with it and was unable to do it. So before anything really got started, with me anyway, I left. I texted both of them the next day and apologized.
Fast forward a couple weeks later and we were hanging out and partying again. Once again Ann pulled me into her bedroom and asked me if I would try again. I told her that I didn't think I would be able to to do it. Like physically. Three people just freaks me out for whatever reason. I'm pretty traditional when it comes.to things like that. Well, turns out I was right. So again I left. I was humiliated.
The reason the 2 fails bothered me so much, is because I have had a huge crush on Ann for almost 10 years. The entire time she and that reprobate of a husband were married. So longer than 10 years actually, more like 12. She was my dream girl. The most beautiful creature I had ever laid eyes on. Her eyes were mesmerizing. Her smile gave me the biggest butterflies in my stomach. I admired her from afar because....well she was married to.my friend. She became my measuring stick. anyone I dated was compared to her, like "well she's cute. but she's no Ann". Her every move, the way she carried herself. the way she laughed, the way her eyes lit up when someone said something funny and she laughed.....just everything. She was amazing. I was smitten to 10th degree. She never knew. There were a few times that I think she might have wondered, but she never REALLY knew. That would change a little under a year ago one night when we were all, you guessed it, hanging out and partying.
Gump, Ann, her sister Helena, her husband Shawn and I were all sitting on Helena's back porch just drinking and enjoying some tunes. I played my guitar for everyone a bit, we were having a good time.
Helena was unusually talkative with me. Almost to the point of flirting. she is quite a bit older than I am. loud and abrasive. Not.my type. So I paid it no mind. I was just polite and laughed and jokes with her as I normally would. Once again, Ann asked me to.come into the house. She needed to ask me a question and tell me something. My stomach immediately floated to my throat. What did she want? Was she gonna tell me that she was into.me? So many thoughts were racing through my head. I knew she wasn't going to ask me to try and swing again because she took me into.the kitchen so we could make more drinks. She repeated that she needed to ask me something. By this time, I was already pretty well drunk and I tend to become a motor mouth when I'm in that particular state. When she said that, I interrupted and said that I had a pretty good idea, or maybe a hope of what she was going to say to me. She asked me to tell her what I thought she was.going to say. I said "no no, you first, if I'm wrong, I'll look like a fool". She wouldn't relent. She wouldn't tell me, until I told her. After about 5 minutes of me pleading for her to just tell me first in case I was wrong, she finally said that she was going to go back outside if I didn't tell her. So I agreed. It took me awhile because I was nervous and tripping over every word that I spoke. Finally I managed to choke out that I had been basically in love with her from afar for 12 years. The look on her face told me that she didn't ask me into the kitchen to tell me that. She told me that she didn't know what to say. She also told me that she was married to my friend and that something like that could never happen, which I knew. She was visibly shaken. More so than I would have thought. When I asked her what she actually had to tell/ask me, she told.me that her sister was flirting with me and not to do anything with her. I laughed and told her not to worry, that I wasn't even mildly interested in her. I drank the drink that I had just made while she and I were talking and left shortly thereafter. I would find out a few days later that her nervousness and demeanor after I told her this stuff, was for a reason.
4 or five days later, I was sitting at home. I was still beating myself about telling her that stuff. I couldn't believe that I let myself do such a thing. One day I got a message on Facebook. I really didn't talk to anybody on there so I was curious as to who it could be. I was pleasantly shocked to find that it was Ann! It was a week or so before my birthday, and she asked me what I wanted. I never told her my birthday was coming up mind you. So she was looking at my Facebook page and must have noticed it. Having already drunkenly spilled my guts to her, I jokingly said "you". "Well you know that isn't a possibility." I told her I knew that. and that I was only trying to make light of my stupidity from the other night. We chatted a bit longer and then ceased conversation. I'm not sure if it was the same day or not, but she messaged me again. This time she asked me for a picture of myself. I thought this odd, so I asked her why she wanted it. She beat around the bush for a few minutes until she finally told me that she wanted to show one of her co workers what I looked like. I asked her why, and she wouldn't elaborate on the reason. That sent all kinds of thoughts in motion for me. I'm an over thinker you see. The reasons for that should be obvious to anyone that has been comprehending what I've written thus far. Things would take several unbelievable turns from that point forward. So before anyone judges me for being with a married woman for a year, wait until I write the rest of this account before passing judgment. I truly believe that anyone with a normal sense of right and wrong, will see things my way. Some may not, I've talked to a few people that have not. Until next time. I will be finishing this today, so if anyone is hooked lol, you won't have to wait very long.
© Richie Croteau
One night I was over at the house that she, I'll call her Ann, and her husband, I'll call him Gump, we're living. It was Ann's sisters place. I was friends with Gump and we were having some drinks and just hanging out. Im gonna keep this part brief because the actual details aren't super important, only the events themselves are integral to the story as a whole. So as the night wore on, we were having a good time. Ann asks me to come into the house so she could ask me a question. I was taken aback by this, also very nervous. I'll explain why later. She took me into their bedroom and dat next to me on the bed. She asked me if I would be interested in swinging with them. I had never done anything like that and at first I declined. We walked back outside and she told Gump my response. We continued to hang out a while longer until they both asked me again. They were very persistent, so finally I gave in. I won't get into the details of it, but suffice to say I wasn't comfortable with it and was unable to do it. So before anything really got started, with me anyway, I left. I texted both of them the next day and apologized.
Fast forward a couple weeks later and we were hanging out and partying again. Once again Ann pulled me into her bedroom and asked me if I would try again. I told her that I didn't think I would be able to to do it. Like physically. Three people just freaks me out for whatever reason. I'm pretty traditional when it comes.to things like that. Well, turns out I was right. So again I left. I was humiliated.
The reason the 2 fails bothered me so much, is because I have had a huge crush on Ann for almost 10 years. The entire time she and that reprobate of a husband were married. So longer than 10 years actually, more like 12. She was my dream girl. The most beautiful creature I had ever laid eyes on. Her eyes were mesmerizing. Her smile gave me the biggest butterflies in my stomach. I admired her from afar because....well she was married to.my friend. She became my measuring stick. anyone I dated was compared to her, like "well she's cute. but she's no Ann". Her every move, the way she carried herself. the way she laughed, the way her eyes lit up when someone said something funny and she laughed.....just everything. She was amazing. I was smitten to 10th degree. She never knew. There were a few times that I think she might have wondered, but she never REALLY knew. That would change a little under a year ago one night when we were all, you guessed it, hanging out and partying.
Gump, Ann, her sister Helena, her husband Shawn and I were all sitting on Helena's back porch just drinking and enjoying some tunes. I played my guitar for everyone a bit, we were having a good time.
Helena was unusually talkative with me. Almost to the point of flirting. she is quite a bit older than I am. loud and abrasive. Not.my type. So I paid it no mind. I was just polite and laughed and jokes with her as I normally would. Once again, Ann asked me to.come into the house. She needed to ask me a question and tell me something. My stomach immediately floated to my throat. What did she want? Was she gonna tell me that she was into.me? So many thoughts were racing through my head. I knew she wasn't going to ask me to try and swing again because she took me into.the kitchen so we could make more drinks. She repeated that she needed to ask me something. By this time, I was already pretty well drunk and I tend to become a motor mouth when I'm in that particular state. When she said that, I interrupted and said that I had a pretty good idea, or maybe a hope of what she was going to say to me. She asked me to tell her what I thought she was.going to say. I said "no no, you first, if I'm wrong, I'll look like a fool". She wouldn't relent. She wouldn't tell me, until I told her. After about 5 minutes of me pleading for her to just tell me first in case I was wrong, she finally said that she was going to go back outside if I didn't tell her. So I agreed. It took me awhile because I was nervous and tripping over every word that I spoke. Finally I managed to choke out that I had been basically in love with her from afar for 12 years. The look on her face told me that she didn't ask me into the kitchen to tell me that. She told me that she didn't know what to say. She also told me that she was married to my friend and that something like that could never happen, which I knew. She was visibly shaken. More so than I would have thought. When I asked her what she actually had to tell/ask me, she told.me that her sister was flirting with me and not to do anything with her. I laughed and told her not to worry, that I wasn't even mildly interested in her. I drank the drink that I had just made while she and I were talking and left shortly thereafter. I would find out a few days later that her nervousness and demeanor after I told her this stuff, was for a reason.
4 or five days later, I was sitting at home. I was still beating myself about telling her that stuff. I couldn't believe that I let myself do such a thing. One day I got a message on Facebook. I really didn't talk to anybody on there so I was curious as to who it could be. I was pleasantly shocked to find that it was Ann! It was a week or so before my birthday, and she asked me what I wanted. I never told her my birthday was coming up mind you. So she was looking at my Facebook page and must have noticed it. Having already drunkenly spilled my guts to her, I jokingly said "you". "Well you know that isn't a possibility." I told her I knew that. and that I was only trying to make light of my stupidity from the other night. We chatted a bit longer and then ceased conversation. I'm not sure if it was the same day or not, but she messaged me again. This time she asked me for a picture of myself. I thought this odd, so I asked her why she wanted it. She beat around the bush for a few minutes until she finally told me that she wanted to show one of her co workers what I looked like. I asked her why, and she wouldn't elaborate on the reason. That sent all kinds of thoughts in motion for me. I'm an over thinker you see. The reasons for that should be obvious to anyone that has been comprehending what I've written thus far. Things would take several unbelievable turns from that point forward. So before anyone judges me for being with a married woman for a year, wait until I write the rest of this account before passing judgment. I truly believe that anyone with a normal sense of right and wrong, will see things my way. Some may not, I've talked to a few people that have not. Until next time. I will be finishing this today, so if anyone is hooked lol, you won't have to wait very long.
© Richie Croteau
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