Somewhere around this age Shokhi realised that music gives her happiness. She started listening to songs over the radio, cassettes and records got by her father. Manas was a music lover though never used to sing. Moni too was an ardent listener to music. Shokhi got lost in this world of music because it gave her an escape from the pain that dwelled in her. During Durga Puja, she and Moni bought lot of cassettes released then. Bangla Hindi both. At this juncture she got a little recognition in school too cause she sang pretty well. She became part of the official choir in school till she left school. Looking at her(Shokhi) interest in singing, Moni arranged for a music teacher for her. This made Shokhi very happy. But after about an year Shokhi didn't want to learn music anymore but wanted to sing enjoy music at her own will. This made her realise that what she wanted was freedom, not to be tied down to music by learning or giving exam. Today she realises her mistake but.. This happened to her with her studies too. Her mindset kept her as a mediocre student. This was also a cause of being shunted down by everyone around her. She was being judged. But her music kept her on. Her dream of sunflowers kept her alive. She again went into her she'll. Here Shokha unknowingly helped her. His wit humour and love made Shokhi joyful. With Shokha she found her new personlity . She started talking, listening to people around her. She did make a few friends but wondered why she couldn't become the focus of someone's interest. Here Shokha and Shokhi opened their gates to international music. Both of them actually reasearched into songs with their tender minds.
Here Shokhi felt that maybe showing off a little would get her attention. Showing off music, clothes, flaunt her unconventional looks. Did it work for her?? She got a friend in Rusha. Rusha too had unconventional looks but her personality was just opposite to that of Shokhi. Shokhi liked her a lot. Both of them spent lot of time together in school and outside. Rusha brought a lot of change in Shokhi. Shokhi became somewhat what she felt then smart and beautiful. Rusha had a love interest near her home. She confided in Shokhi. Both of them enjoyed each others company. Shokhi too wanted someone special in her life.
Here came in Harry. Harry a tall lassy good looking boy in Shokhi's colony. Both Harry and Shokhi's parents were family friends. Shokhi found him attractive but as her nature, she kept quiet.
But to her Surprise, it was Harry who approached her. Harry was bowled over by Shokhi. He found her extremely beautiful, Shokhi's personality made him fall for her. When he spoke to Shokhi, he never spoke as a regular boy. He just expressed his reading about her. Her simplicity wooed him.
Shokhi was confused and afraid. She didn't know what to do. They spoke to each other over the phone, times when there were no mobiles or internet!! They met in the evenings in their locality.
Shokhi confided this to Rusha. She supported her and was overjoyed for Shokhi.
Shokhi too felt good but always kept herself on guard. She didn't know why. This was more of a friendship to Shokhi but yes a special one. Harry confessed his love but Shokhi could never say 'I love you' to him. For Shokhi love meant finding soul. Feeling magic only by holding hands. She imagined someone like her probably.
Shokhi used to feel nothing or maybe indifferent the couple of times Harry came closer.
Shokhi and Rusha reached the last year of their school. They were indespensible. By the end of school, Rusha lost her love interest. He got married elsewhere. She was devastated. Shokhi calmed her down. She became dependant on Shokhi.
One fine day!! Harry came up to Shokhi to tell that he too was getting married because he couldn't go against his parents. Shokhi stood there listening to him feeling nothing inside.
Shokhi wasn't sad or never did she cry over him. She want blank. Rusha was amezed at her friend's reaction.
Shokhi smiling at Rusha said "Yaar ye kya bol kar gaya??" "Itna to Maine socha hi nahi tha."
Rusha understood and kept quiet. Shokhi was never sad, infact she imagined herself as getting married to Harry and laughed at herself. She whispered to herself "Ye possible nahi tha." She knew it wasn't love for her and never had committed to it.
All this while Shokhi's Homefront deteriorated.
Shokhi and Shokha..were spectators to something very gruesome and heart breaking.
School Ends..
TO BE CONTINUED...

© Choitali