Dear Men, PORN will ruin your life. Here's why. ๐
Though you may find conflicting research regarding the harm of pornography, I can tell you from first-hand experience it has the power to ruin your life. From middle school and into his married years, my friend consumed porn. Over time, it changed how he viewed himself, the world, his marriage.
It threatened to take over more and more aspects of his life until he finally admitted something had to change. He realized that what he was trading in exchange for porn was too valuable.
You may think you have the power to restrain pornโs impact on you, but my friend thought the same thing as well. Porn has the power to destroy anyone, often growing rapidly, until one day you realize your whole life has changed for the worst.
1/10
๐๐จ๐ซ๐ง ๐๐๐ฌ๐ญ๐ซ๐จ๐ฒ๐ฌ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐๐๐ข๐ฅ๐ข๐ญ๐ฒ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ฏ๐ข๐๐ฐ ๐ฉ๐๐จ๐ฉ๐ฅ๐ ๐๐ฌ ๐ก๐ฎ๐ฆ๐๐ง ๐๐๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฌ.
The basic premise is this: Youโre using the actions of people on a screen to fulfill your own personal desires. You donโt stop to think that these people may be victims of sex trafficking. You donโt know if their producer allows them to use condoms. You donโt know if they are making a living wage or if theyโre sharing STDs. You donโt know if theyโre doing drugs to get through a scene or if they are comfortable with the acts they are expected to perform. The people on the screen become almost non-human, simple tools for you to use when you need them.
2/10
๐๐จ๐ซ๐ง ๐๐๐ฌ๐ญ๐ซ๐จ๐ฒ๐ฌ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐๐๐ข๐ฅ๐ข๐ญ๐ฒ ๐ญ๐จ ๐๐๐ฏ๐๐ฅ๐จ๐ฉ ๐ข๐ง๐ญ๐ข๐ฆ๐๐๐ฒ.
Why risk entering into a real relationship when you can get your needs met with a hand and a computer screen? Who needs the drama of having to love sacrificially or opening yourself to being vulnerable with an actual person? Or, when things get hard in the relationship you already have and your partnerโs not wanting to be physically intimate, why press through to the other side for resolution of the emotional issues that concern your spouse when you can get your physical needs on your own?
Porn hinders genuine connection and divides the heart.
3/10
๐๐จ๐ซ๐ง ๐๐๐ฌ๐ญ๐ซ๐จ๐ฒ๐ฌ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐๐๐ข๐ฅ๐ข๐ญ๐ฒ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ฉ๐๐ซ๐๐จ๐ซ๐ฆ ๐ฌ๐๐ฑ๐ฎ๐๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฒ.
Porn is a supernormal stimulus. When you view porn, neurotransmitters release (dopamine, for example) and flood the body, creating a high. Over time, it takes more and more porn (and often darker forms) to create the same high.
When you compare the pornography to "regular" sex with a partner, "regular" sex does little to nothing to excite you. And when your brain isn't excited, it doesnโt send the message that itโs time for you to perform sexually with your partner. For men in particular, this can leave you with erectile dysfunction.
4/10
๐๐จ๐ซ๐ง ๐๐๐ฌ๐ญ๐ซ๐จ๐ฒ๐ฌ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐๐๐ข๐ฅ๐ข๐ญ๐ฒ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ฉ๐ซ๐ข๐จ๐ซ๐ข๐ญ๐ข๐ณ๐.
If we look at porn as a stimulus like many drugs, we know that drug users often begin to constantly look for their next fix. As you continue to consume porn, achieving their next high becomes their top priority. If you continue to consume porn, you will notice that things that used to occupy the top slots in your life (your family, your friends, your relationship with God, your hobbies, your professional life, etc.), are superseded by your desire to use porn.
5/10
๐๐จ๐ซ๐ง ๐๐๐ฌ๐ญ๐ซ๐จ๐ฒ๐ฌ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐ฉ๐๐ซ๐ญ๐ง๐๐ซโ๐ฌ ๐ญ๐ซ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ญ.
John Eldredge, a counselor and prolific author, says that every man and every woman have a central question. For the man, itโs โDo I have what it takes?โ For the woman, itโs โWill I be chosen?โ If you are looking at pornography, you are answering โNoโ to your spouseโs primary question. It may not be intentional. You may not realize youโre doing it. But your spouse is hearing you loud and clear. When you use porn, youโre sending a message to your spouse that what they have, you donโt want, even if currently you draw no connection between your relationship with porn and your relationship with your partner.
6/10
๐๐จ๐ซ๐ง ๐๐๐ฌ๐ญ๐ซ๐จ๐ฒ๐ฌ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐๐ซ๐๐ข๐ง ๐๐ฎ๐ง๐๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง.
When you choose to engage with pornography, youโre effectively choosing to rewire your brain. A brain chemical called Delta-FosB builds up, triggering specific genes to make changes in your synapses. You become super-sensitized to porn and desensitized to pretty much everything else.
7/10
๐๐จ๐ซ๐ง ๐๐๐ฌ๐ญ๐ซ๐จ๐ฒ๐ฌ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐๐๐ข๐ฅ๐ข๐ญ๐ฒ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ฐ๐จ๐ซ๐ค.
If your employer finds that youโre using company time to look at porn, they can fire you because you are effectively stealing from them. Stealing time, productivity.
Even if you donโt get caught, most likely, youโre not going to give your best work when your mind is continually desiring porn.
8/10
๐๐จ๐ซ๐ง ๐๐๐ฌ๐ญ๐ซ๐จ๐ฒ๐ฌ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐๐๐ข๐ฅ๐ข๐ญ๐ฒ ๐ญ๐จ ๐๐ ๐ฌ๐๐ฅ๐๐ฅ๐๐ฌ๐ฌ.
Addictions drive us toward the desired substance and away from the people around us. We become captivated by what we think is filling us, helping us cope, or bringing us to the high we desire. Our objective is to make ourselves feel better and this obscures the needs of the people around us. When we are consumed with our own needs, not only do we not recognize other peopleโs pain, suffering, or needs, but we also have reduced capacity to empathize with them or meet the legit needs they have.
9/10
๐๐จ๐ซ๐ง ๐๐๐ฌ๐ญ๐ซ๐จ๐ฒ๐ฌ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐๐๐ข๐ฅ๐ข๐ญ๐ฒ ๐ญ๐จ ๐๐ ๐ก๐จ๐ง๐๐ฌ๐ญ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ๐ฌ๐๐ฅ๐.
It is true that sometimes a person gets addicted to porn because they were bored one day and started a habit that got progressively worse over time. But itโs also true that people get involved in porn because of deeper issues and that porn became a way to self-soothe or self-medicate the pain borne from these wounds. If we cannot take an honest look at the things and people who have hurt us in the past, we cannot begin to heal. We will be destined for a life of numbness. And not only will we be numb to the pain, but we will also be numb to the joys of this life. We are unable to pick and choose which emotions we want to squash. We squash one, we squash them all. When we hide from our wounds, run from our pain, and inhibit our ability to feel and show emotions, we leave no room for honesty about who we are. And how can we ever allow ourselves to be fully loved if we know we are not fully known?
10/10
Breaking free of pornography will require you to identify the "why" behind the porn use in your life. Is it stress, boredom, social withdrawal, what feeds your need for pornography?
It will mean you have to identify the times and triggers that lead to porn consumption and make a plan for those.
Often, the best way to get to the root of the issue and to establish new behaviors is to seek professional help.
Don't be a slave to your impulses.
Show some self-respect.
Choose real women, real men, real intimacy, real life over the artificial stimulation of porn.
Not your Computer โโโ
ยฉ High5Media
It threatened to take over more and more aspects of his life until he finally admitted something had to change. He realized that what he was trading in exchange for porn was too valuable.
You may think you have the power to restrain pornโs impact on you, but my friend thought the same thing as well. Porn has the power to destroy anyone, often growing rapidly, until one day you realize your whole life has changed for the worst.
1/10
๐๐จ๐ซ๐ง ๐๐๐ฌ๐ญ๐ซ๐จ๐ฒ๐ฌ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐๐๐ข๐ฅ๐ข๐ญ๐ฒ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ฏ๐ข๐๐ฐ ๐ฉ๐๐จ๐ฉ๐ฅ๐ ๐๐ฌ ๐ก๐ฎ๐ฆ๐๐ง ๐๐๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฌ.
The basic premise is this: Youโre using the actions of people on a screen to fulfill your own personal desires. You donโt stop to think that these people may be victims of sex trafficking. You donโt know if their producer allows them to use condoms. You donโt know if they are making a living wage or if theyโre sharing STDs. You donโt know if theyโre doing drugs to get through a scene or if they are comfortable with the acts they are expected to perform. The people on the screen become almost non-human, simple tools for you to use when you need them.
2/10
๐๐จ๐ซ๐ง ๐๐๐ฌ๐ญ๐ซ๐จ๐ฒ๐ฌ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐๐๐ข๐ฅ๐ข๐ญ๐ฒ ๐ญ๐จ ๐๐๐ฏ๐๐ฅ๐จ๐ฉ ๐ข๐ง๐ญ๐ข๐ฆ๐๐๐ฒ.
Why risk entering into a real relationship when you can get your needs met with a hand and a computer screen? Who needs the drama of having to love sacrificially or opening yourself to being vulnerable with an actual person? Or, when things get hard in the relationship you already have and your partnerโs not wanting to be physically intimate, why press through to the other side for resolution of the emotional issues that concern your spouse when you can get your physical needs on your own?
Porn hinders genuine connection and divides the heart.
3/10
๐๐จ๐ซ๐ง ๐๐๐ฌ๐ญ๐ซ๐จ๐ฒ๐ฌ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐๐๐ข๐ฅ๐ข๐ญ๐ฒ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ฉ๐๐ซ๐๐จ๐ซ๐ฆ ๐ฌ๐๐ฑ๐ฎ๐๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฒ.
Porn is a supernormal stimulus. When you view porn, neurotransmitters release (dopamine, for example) and flood the body, creating a high. Over time, it takes more and more porn (and often darker forms) to create the same high.
When you compare the pornography to "regular" sex with a partner, "regular" sex does little to nothing to excite you. And when your brain isn't excited, it doesnโt send the message that itโs time for you to perform sexually with your partner. For men in particular, this can leave you with erectile dysfunction.
4/10
๐๐จ๐ซ๐ง ๐๐๐ฌ๐ญ๐ซ๐จ๐ฒ๐ฌ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐๐๐ข๐ฅ๐ข๐ญ๐ฒ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ฉ๐ซ๐ข๐จ๐ซ๐ข๐ญ๐ข๐ณ๐.
If we look at porn as a stimulus like many drugs, we know that drug users often begin to constantly look for their next fix. As you continue to consume porn, achieving their next high becomes their top priority. If you continue to consume porn, you will notice that things that used to occupy the top slots in your life (your family, your friends, your relationship with God, your hobbies, your professional life, etc.), are superseded by your desire to use porn.
5/10
๐๐จ๐ซ๐ง ๐๐๐ฌ๐ญ๐ซ๐จ๐ฒ๐ฌ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐ฉ๐๐ซ๐ญ๐ง๐๐ซโ๐ฌ ๐ญ๐ซ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ญ.
John Eldredge, a counselor and prolific author, says that every man and every woman have a central question. For the man, itโs โDo I have what it takes?โ For the woman, itโs โWill I be chosen?โ If you are looking at pornography, you are answering โNoโ to your spouseโs primary question. It may not be intentional. You may not realize youโre doing it. But your spouse is hearing you loud and clear. When you use porn, youโre sending a message to your spouse that what they have, you donโt want, even if currently you draw no connection between your relationship with porn and your relationship with your partner.
6/10
๐๐จ๐ซ๐ง ๐๐๐ฌ๐ญ๐ซ๐จ๐ฒ๐ฌ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐๐ซ๐๐ข๐ง ๐๐ฎ๐ง๐๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง.
When you choose to engage with pornography, youโre effectively choosing to rewire your brain. A brain chemical called Delta-FosB builds up, triggering specific genes to make changes in your synapses. You become super-sensitized to porn and desensitized to pretty much everything else.
7/10
๐๐จ๐ซ๐ง ๐๐๐ฌ๐ญ๐ซ๐จ๐ฒ๐ฌ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐๐๐ข๐ฅ๐ข๐ญ๐ฒ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ฐ๐จ๐ซ๐ค.
If your employer finds that youโre using company time to look at porn, they can fire you because you are effectively stealing from them. Stealing time, productivity.
Even if you donโt get caught, most likely, youโre not going to give your best work when your mind is continually desiring porn.
8/10
๐๐จ๐ซ๐ง ๐๐๐ฌ๐ญ๐ซ๐จ๐ฒ๐ฌ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐๐๐ข๐ฅ๐ข๐ญ๐ฒ ๐ญ๐จ ๐๐ ๐ฌ๐๐ฅ๐๐ฅ๐๐ฌ๐ฌ.
Addictions drive us toward the desired substance and away from the people around us. We become captivated by what we think is filling us, helping us cope, or bringing us to the high we desire. Our objective is to make ourselves feel better and this obscures the needs of the people around us. When we are consumed with our own needs, not only do we not recognize other peopleโs pain, suffering, or needs, but we also have reduced capacity to empathize with them or meet the legit needs they have.
9/10
๐๐จ๐ซ๐ง ๐๐๐ฌ๐ญ๐ซ๐จ๐ฒ๐ฌ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐๐๐ข๐ฅ๐ข๐ญ๐ฒ ๐ญ๐จ ๐๐ ๐ก๐จ๐ง๐๐ฌ๐ญ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ๐ฌ๐๐ฅ๐.
It is true that sometimes a person gets addicted to porn because they were bored one day and started a habit that got progressively worse over time. But itโs also true that people get involved in porn because of deeper issues and that porn became a way to self-soothe or self-medicate the pain borne from these wounds. If we cannot take an honest look at the things and people who have hurt us in the past, we cannot begin to heal. We will be destined for a life of numbness. And not only will we be numb to the pain, but we will also be numb to the joys of this life. We are unable to pick and choose which emotions we want to squash. We squash one, we squash them all. When we hide from our wounds, run from our pain, and inhibit our ability to feel and show emotions, we leave no room for honesty about who we are. And how can we ever allow ourselves to be fully loved if we know we are not fully known?
10/10
Breaking free of pornography will require you to identify the "why" behind the porn use in your life. Is it stress, boredom, social withdrawal, what feeds your need for pornography?
It will mean you have to identify the times and triggers that lead to porn consumption and make a plan for those.
Often, the best way to get to the root of the issue and to establish new behaviors is to seek professional help.
Don't be a slave to your impulses.
Show some self-respect.
Choose real women, real men, real intimacy, real life over the artificial stimulation of porn.
Not your Computer โโโ
ยฉ High5Media