Though you may find conflicting research regarding the harm of pornography, I can tell you from first-hand experience it has the power to ruin your life. From middle school and into his married years, my friend consumed porn. Over time, it changed how he viewed himself, the world, his marriage.

It threatened to take over more and more aspects of his life until he finally admitted something had to change. He realized that what he was trading in exchange for porn was too valuable.

You may think you have the power to restrain porn’s impact on you, but my friend thought the same thing as well. Porn has the power to destroy anyone, often growing rapidly, until one day you realize your whole life has changed for the worst.

1/10

𝐏𝐨𝐫𝐧 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐲𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐚𝐛𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐰 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐚𝐬 𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬.

The basic premise is this: You’re using the actions of people on a screen to fulfill your own personal desires. You don’t stop to think that these people may be victims of sex trafficking. You don’t know if their producer allows them to use condoms. You don’t know if they are making a living wage or if they’re sharing STDs. You don’t know if they’re doing drugs to get through a scene or if they are comfortable with the acts they are expected to perform. The people on the screen become almost non-human, simple tools for you to use when you need them.

2/10

𝐏𝐨𝐫𝐧 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐲𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐚𝐛𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐩 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐜𝐲.
Why risk entering into a real relationship when you can get your needs met with a hand and a computer screen? Who needs the drama of having to love sacrificially or opening yourself to being vulnerable with an actual person? Or, when things get hard in the relationship you already have and your partner’s not wanting to be physically intimate, why press through to the other side for resolution of the emotional issues that concern your spouse when you can get your physical needs on your own?

Porn hinders genuine connection and divides the heart.

3/10
𝐏𝐨𝐫𝐧 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐲𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐚𝐛𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦 𝐬𝐞𝐱𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲.

Porn is a supernormal stimulus. When you view porn, neurotransmitters release (dopamine, for example) and flood the body, creating a high. Over time, it takes more and more porn (and often darker forms) to create the same high.

When you compare the pornography to "regular" sex with a partner, "regular" sex does little to nothing to excite you. And when your brain isn't excited, it doesn’t send the message that it’s time for you to perform sexually with your partner. For men in particular, this can leave you with erectile dysfunction.

4/10
𝐏𝐨𝐫𝐧 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐲𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐚𝐛𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐳𝐞.

If we look at porn as a stimulus like many drugs, we know that drug users often begin to constantly look for their next fix. As you continue to consume porn, achieving their next high becomes their top priority. If you continue to consume porn, you will notice that things that used to occupy the top slots in your life (your family, your friends, your relationship with God, your hobbies, your professional life, etc.), are superseded by your desire to use porn.

5/10
𝐏𝐨𝐫𝐧 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐲𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐧𝐞𝐫’𝐬 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐭.
John Eldredge, a counselor and prolific author, says that every man and every woman have a central question. For the man, it’s “Do I have what it takes?” For the woman, it’s “Will I be chosen?” If you are looking at pornography, you are answering “No” to your spouse’s primary question. It may not be intentional. You may not realize you’re doing it. But your spouse is hearing you loud and clear. When you use porn, you’re sending a message to your spouse that what they have, you don’t want, even if currently you draw no connection between your relationship with porn and your relationship with your partner.

6/10
𝐏𝐨𝐫𝐧 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐲𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐟𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧.
When you choose to engage with pornography, you’re effectively choosing to rewire your brain. A brain chemical called Delta-FosB builds up, triggering specific genes to make changes in your synapses. You become super-sensitized to porn and desensitized to pretty much everything else.

7/10
𝐏𝐨𝐫𝐧 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐲𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐚𝐛𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤.
If your employer finds that you’re using company time to look at porn, they can fire you because you are effectively stealing from them. Stealing time, productivity.
Even if you don’t get caught, most likely, you’re not going to give your best work when your mind is continually desiring porn.

8/10
𝐏𝐨𝐫𝐧 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐲𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐚𝐛𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬.
Addictions drive us toward the desired substance and away from the people around us. We become captivated by what we think is filling us, helping us cope, or bringing us to the high we desire. Our objective is to make ourselves feel better and this obscures the needs of the people around us. When we are consumed with our own needs, not only do we not recognize other people’s pain, suffering, or needs, but we also have reduced capacity to empathize with them or meet the legit needs they have.

9/10
𝐏𝐨𝐫𝐧 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐲𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐚𝐛𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟.
It is true that sometimes a person gets addicted to porn because they were bored one day and started a habit that got progressively worse over time. But it’s also true that people get involved in porn because of deeper issues and that porn became a way to self-soothe or self-medicate the pain borne from these wounds. If we cannot take an honest look at the things and people who have hurt us in the past, we cannot begin to heal. We will be destined for a life of numbness. And not only will we be numb to the pain, but we will also be numb to the joys of this life. We are unable to pick and choose which emotions we want to squash. We squash one, we squash them all. When we hide from our wounds, run from our pain, and inhibit our ability to feel and show emotions, we leave no room for honesty about who we are. And how can we ever allow ourselves to be fully loved if we know we are not fully known?

10/10
Breaking free of pornography will require you to identify the "why" behind the porn use in your life. Is it stress, boredom, social withdrawal, what feeds your need for pornography?

It will mean you have to identify the times and triggers that lead to porn consumption and make a plan for those.

Often, the best way to get to the root of the issue and to establish new behaviors is to seek professional help.

Don't be a slave to your impulses.

Show some self-respect.

Choose real women, real men, real intimacy, real life over the artificial stimulation of porn.

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