Welcome to this factual yet fractionally exaggerated understanding of self hatred

For this I'm attempting to sustain a mental anylyisis on my own illness to understand it better.

I suffer with schizophrenia and often take drugs, obviously this exaggerates the systems of emotions that fuel pathic traits,

But expression to myself and solidity of these thoughts must gain exposure, if this to be only to myself, I'm nor writer or artist but a expressionist of all freedoms, as my anologys have all included death as almost a parrarel curiosity to which I must understand.

Excuse my over ambitious attempt of literary style this is the attempt to mirror the drive in myslef which i can't see.

Constantly churning away my brain will not stop and this haunts me everyday, i embellished behaviours of everything i thought could be of use like a hoarder to material, this only confused everyone else and crushed my personality further into a somewhat abstraction below others ever fearfully isolating my psyche.

The anger which i built up insulted me to share these words
as i always forgave human errors
but to never ask me the questions i plauge myself with only grew my intellect to do it my bloody self, every breathing moment is a lesson in life & culture.

I now embrace the free thinkers of thought, politics and humanity from every side of the collective consciousness, whilst grasping mortality and progress of my own knowledge

I feel not undertaking the will power is a absolute insult to the fighters who privileged us all with such freedoms to give up on expression in all forms is to truly not exist.


© All Rights Reserved