"Do you still miss him?"they ask me.
"ummm Yes and No" I say.
I don't have a solid answer to this question.All I know is I don't miss you like I used to.The days when memories were stuck on replay in my head..Days when I heard you in every song I listen..every movie I watch..Days when love and sadness have become my perennial fear..Days when the world and you yourself warned me against our love..Days when I couldn't decide loving you or allowing you to leave me was my mistake..But those days had their time and they don't matter much now.Now I don't think about you often.I don't wake up with a throbbing pain in my heart.I am okay with the fact that your name won't flash in my notification bar.I don't wonder whether you still like chocolate icecream or your eyes still glow in sunlight.I stopped thinking whether you think about me.
As hard as it is to un meet someone,I've managed to tuck you deep the brain so you won't pop up often.I don't search your faces in crowd,I don't repeat the conversations we had nor do I channel my memory to the past I once called home.That home is gone.I burnt the entire place down.I,however remember our fights.But I dont hate you.Never did,never will.I am convinced that we were 'you' and 'I' and never an 'us'.But on one of those days when I am travelling in a bus or train,sitting near the window,watching the trees run behind me,I think of you.I think of you when that song come upon TV.But you know what they say,you can be mad at someone and still miss them..You can miss someone and never want them back.