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A good memory.
If you'd ask it of me, yes...I will lay here with you embraced and tell you sugar powdered words. Those sticky, candy lies will hold in your eardrum and play soft music for you to sleep to; so that you may rest more comfortably... safer. If you ask it of me, I will lay under your resting body and the bitter nothingness of my core; I will wrap you between my legs and fill your dreams with false hope and wonder.

Yes, if you ask it of me, I will give you everything you've ever wanted. All the magic and pleasure, passion, and softness. I will be masterfully beautiful, long-planned and short-tempered, selfish and playful, in a charming direction. I will leave you on your toes, that way which makes you frightened and yet, thrills you in a way that makes you sweaty.

For if I am possessive, this means I truly desire you. I need you and my tooth will crave you. You will try to pinpoint jealousy and toy with my resentment and any insecurities you have diagnosed me within your dreams but never investigated further.

You will believe that you have me figured out, you've rooted within me. You will think you understand me, the way no one else can. You deemed yourself talented in that you fixed me with your love! That you complete me. You feel you have found the proper tools to fix all issues you assumed me to have. Giving yourself to me with an open heart. You will be ready, open, wet, and wanting. And all by the time, you have completed this….I have grown bored of you.

If you ask it of me, I will get you a passion you will remember your whole life through. I will make you feel your body will need to recover from and your mind will always puzzle over. I will make your soul crave for it long after and leave you doubtful. I can only offer you passion, passion quick, and full of humility. But you must understand, much like a candle, burning bright and hot to touch, lighting a dark corner and warming your fingertips… it too must burn out.

For once my tiredness creeps in, my flame burns down...I am no longer capable of proper passion. I will be done. You will. find words for it, narcissist, selfish, abuser, and the list will grow...but that is only your pain talking.

If you ask it of me, I will play on your body and make you breathe harder, kiss your forehead and make you smile in the sheets…..but to ask for more, to ask for longer is to ask too much of me. I want to be a good memory when you feel numb. A bite to your thumb to remind you that you lived. You lived at one point. You had fire, softness, the stars, and neck kisses. Elegant moments will get you through the heavy ones.

If you ask it of me, I will give you memories….memories to last a lifetime. I, myself, the physical me, just can't last the life with you.

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© jonniraeholliday