................& its driving me insane ...I fucking miss you, your smile, your laugh, the way you'd get a kick outta the way I would throw slugs..your touch, your kisses. The feeling youd give me when your hands were all over me. I pray & I will continue to pray that you find your way back to me. I fell for you & I haven't gotten up yet. I dont want too. I dont wanna believe our love story is over. I dont wanna believe your mean & hateful & didn't mean a word you said to me. I know you did. I know. you. did.

♡♡♡♡Your not a man that lies about anything, no matter how tough the subject. I need to know what happened?. What caused this beautiful love story to turn into a nightmare in a matter of hours.....♡♡♡♡

I think about the first night you came over. That sexy smile you would give me. Such a gentleman you was, not ever trying to touch me or even lean in for a kiss.... You gave me such butterflies babe. Omg, you'd touch me in the slightest & sparks would fly. I kept thinking to myself, if this keeps up were gonna start a fire when we make love. That same night I had to take you to meet my son. I felt in my heart this connection was it. I had found the man I was going to spend my life with. my son confirmed it, when he gave you the blessing. The emotions I felt come over me are unexplainable. I was content & felt such peace in my heart I had not felt in so many years.
.My soul was relaxed.

♡♡♡....mom instantaneously fell in love with you..I believe she loved you before you ever walked through the door. She got up to clean the day you first came. Mom does not do that. I kept looking for the sky to fall. In all my life have I ever seen that woman take to another human the way she did with you. .. She would always ask me around 10ish, "is mijo coming home tonight?" The nights you'd go home, I could see her disappoint. You.. YOU!!.. were the missing puzzle piece to complete my family.. you fit so perfect, so snug. Not only was it complete, you brought a level of Joy to my loved ones I never seen in them. & that includes my fur-babies.

..perhaps this is was a problem I didn't see....I didnt see it because I was so focused in how elated I felt, that maybe you felt pressure by me expressing that to you. I dont know !!!. .. without talking to you about this, all I can do is speculate. And let me tell ya, my mind has no problem going to places it should never wonder into. ..for the most part I blame myself for this. Even though I dont know exactly what it is I did. I beat myself up about it because your gone..You just turned your back on me without a second thought. I hurt so much, I cry because of your absents & there isn't a moment I dont think of you. ...

•°•°•...I have gone over every single detail of our time together, went through the phone with a fine tooth comb to see if there was anything that could have triggered the events that unfolded that Tursday evening. Was I too honest & naive? I gave you honesty, not because you asked that of me. I gave it to you because I wanted too. I gave all of myself to you. Whole-heartly. I never thought to delete or hide anything from you. I look at it this way, if I was...