Are we ever really alone? Whether you're in the desert like Waheed, or your own back yard, you hear sounds. You see light and shapes. You sense the air around you and that which you breathe. And inside, some hear their God or some hear themselves. That voice can be kind and uplifting, or else condemning and fearful. So I ask again, are we ever really alone?

You can close your eyes and shut out the sights. You can plug your ears and play music, or just cancel out the sound. You can still the voices in your mind, or just summon them to be a comfort not a distraction. But you still need air to breathe, and you still have feelings that consume you in the silence you generate. Face it, though it may feel it, you are never truly alone if you have belief in a Greater Spirit. Whoever or Whatever that may be, for it is in Nature, it's the wind, the sky and particles that make us. It is birds and plants, the thoughts we have and the actions we take. We aren't alone, unless we choose to be. We are connected, all of us both person and things, we share the Divine spark of life.

Waheed has left his camels behind and walked to a beautiful spot in the desert that he feels is right. He's not sure why, sometimes those in tune with themselves just know these things. Today he's wearing blue. It reminds him of the sky and his beloved Allah, his own Great Spirit. It reminds him of cool water and vast oceans, so lacking near the desert he lives in. But he saw it once, a huge expanse of water they called the Dead Sea. He smiles when he sees the colour blue, for that was an amazing sight that fuels his mind and brings his smiles. That day was a good day and he relives it often. Blue is his favourite colour.

Waheed believes in giving alms, and in prayer and pilgrimage. He's given already and is on his way to a Holy place near the old city that now lays in ruins. His form of prayers can be done in the open, he doesn't feel he needs to be in a Temple. He knows his God, being the creator of all things, all-powerful and all-knowing, will hear him wherever he is. Sometimes he likes combining his presence with others and feels their energies. But not today. Today is a day he seeks solitude and peace, away from his usual routine. Away from family and friends....and in his heart, away from God's prying eyes.

Tears streak his sandy caramel face. His chocolate eyes have melted and he's a man being tested. The sand has a warm feel to it, a comforting mother welcoming back her son. He likes the desert, because as a child they used to live in tents and travel in a nomadic life. He misses those days, but he settled down on the outskirts of a busy city to keep his wife happy. She didn't like the Bedouin lifestyle, and she was accustomed to certain things and wasn't about to give them up. Waheed was a gentle and considerate soul, and he wanted her to have those things that made her happy. That was what marriage was to him, providing love for your partner. He gave up all he knew, married her, and settled in a job that could provide for them both. But she wasn't happy, she wanted more. All he wanted was to feel loved and be blessed with children.

Waheed stilled himself and the commotion inside. He couldn't honour his God without first being in the right frame of mind. But lately, since he'd learned he couldn't have children and then his wife left him, he was losing his faith. He was blaming everyone and everything for his misery, including his God, and this shamed him very much. So he came to this spot to beg forgiveness, find his peace with his affliction and go on a pilgrimage to find answers. He wasn't sure there were any, for his condition won't change and his wife wasn't an easy lady to live with. They were both unhappy. She because she wanted luxuries for herself, and he because he can't provide the luxury he wants for himself, a child.

As he laid his mat down and started his prayers, something felt different in him right from the start. It was like a kernel in his tummy, a seed sprouting. That growing seed was hope. He truly hoped that his prayers would be heard. And the more he felt the breeze on his skin, the sun on his back and heard the birds in the sky... the more he felt sure he was connected. Perhaps he hadn't lost his faith after all. Call it what you will, he felt a power in the energy of this connection. A love of life that filled his heart and helped that seed grow further.

He wasn't sure how long he prayed for. He was lost in the act, for him it was an overwhelming calm and peaceful sensation. Sometimes he struggled with it, or tried too hard to be heard, but today just felt right. And what woke him out of his reverie were tiny drops of rain. And of course, the seed of hope inside him reached for it, thirsted for it, clung to it. All life and all hope needs to be fed and watered to flourish, or it will wither and die. And the shower came to rouse him from his prayers and Waheed returned to his camels and his little tent feeling purified and cleansed... and dare he say it, maybe healed.

When he reached Mecca at the end of his pilgrimage the first thing he did was get a second opinion on his health. So hopeful was he that Waheed stopped off at a local orphanage to watch the children play with joyous shouts. He felt buoyant, and in his heart he knew he was to be a good parent. If only his God could see fit to reverse his ills. He saw the kids playing and he thought of how happy his own childhood had been. He slipped into a fond remembrance, and with that he sent his genuine hopes up to Allah in the desire to be heard.

Waheed was crestfallen when he got the news. No change. How can this be? he thought to himself afterwards, tears and anger consuming him. How can my God let me down? And he started to get dejected once again, and unsettled and upset. He walked back to the place he'd seen the children playing. He watched and he cried. And as he did so, he started thinking perhaps there was no plan to all this. No Divine spark, no nothing. He slumped down and was a pitiful sight. Until moments later, he heard a voice.
"Hello brother, are you okay?"
"No. Go away," said Waheed without even looking up.
"But brother you seem upset, and Allah himself wouldn't want me to leave you like this."

At this point Waheed looked up and saw a beautiful man with golden hair and the palest blue eyes. "Blue, like the oceans" he heard in his own head, and he returned the smile being aimed at him.
"Please tell me what ails you, maybe I can help. Come, come with me into my home, for this is my school. Let us share bread and you can tell me your woes over a drink."
And this Waheed did in the pleasant company of the stranger who felt so kind and familiar. When he finished telling him his tale, of his woe and his discontentment, the man smiled.
"Why do you smile at my misery, don't you understand my sorry plight?"
"Yes brother, but it is you who doesn't understand." The stranger took him by the hand and led him to the classrooms of his school. "Today the children and I prayed. We prayed for a new teacher, and our prayers have been heard. You wanted children to make your life complete, I have a hundred at my orphanage and all are in need. Allah knows we need a good man, a loving and giving soul. It is you who don't understand, he works in his own ways and they are mysterious to us but no less miraculous even if we don't see them. He brought us you, the job is yours and you may live here with us."

Let no soul truly feel they are alone. They are part of the universal infinite desert grains, each connected and each valuable. You aren't alone, and in some way help and love will come, you just need to be prepared to willingly accept it and be grateful when it does. And don't lose faith so easily, or the belief the Great Spirit you believe in will find a way to bring you comfort. 🙏



© .Garry Saunders