0 views
Tips To Leave a Domestic Violence Relationship
Tips to leave a domestic violent relationship
Since this month is domestic violence month, I wanted to give some tips to the women out there who may be stuck in this type of relationship.
I know people always say why don't you just leave, like it is so easy. Trust me, if it was so easy, we would have done it. People don't understand that this didn't happen overnight. This person has been chipping away at your self-esteem little by little for years. So much so that in the end, you feel like you could never make it without him. Because you've heard it over and over, and you start to believe it.
Now I know everyone's relationship is different, and everyone's I had enough is different as well, but these are the steps I used to finally leave.
So how did I start to get back to myself, the self I loved? Well, it took time.
I started by reading books about self-love. I went to seminars with people like Tony Robbins, Dr. Wayne Dyer, and others who teach you to appreciate yourself. I left sticky notes on my mirrors and in my car that say “You are enough, You can do it, and love yourself”
Anything that would keep me in that mindset.
I started meditation, and I would envision the life I wanted. In my own home, with friends, parties, and freedom. I imagined every room and what it looked like and felt like. Whenever he put me down or would start screaming at me, I would go to that happy place so that I didn't let his words affect me. I made a vision board and put all I wanted in this new life on it. I put it over my washing machine so I could look at it every day as I did laundry.
I stopped smoking to save all that money I would normally spend on cigarettes. I cut coupons and saved all the grocery money. Anything I could sell, I did and stashed that money in a private safety deposit box. I went to yard sales and bought things for my new home, which I didn't have yet. I kept all my important documents and all the things I bought in my girlfriend's garage. I was planning my getaway every day.
Any extra money I could get my habds on, I stashed away. I started going to the library to research divorce lawyers and apartments, and I also redid my resume. I needed to know what my rights were, how I was going to support myself, and how much I needed to really do this.
To tell the truth (which I always do now), it took 3 years from the time I started to when I finally moved out. It was not overnight, which I was hoping for, but this time gave me the strength I needed. It made me make my escape better, I had money, knowledge, and self-esteem to be able to do this.
At the divorce, I had him pay me for all the furniture and everything else in the house as I wanted nothing from this life (and because I already had everything for my new home which he didn't know about)
Even though I got nothing, he robbed all our savings, and I got no alimony and only 200.00 a month child support for 2 children. I was okay. I was free. I got the home I envisioned with friends and laughter, and I finally had peace in my life.
So today my friends remember there is always a way if you want it bad enough. Even if you have to leave with nothing, nothing is better than how you are living now. But if you can plan your escape, start now. Invest in yourself and your self-worth. You are worthy of better. You can leave if you follow these tips.
“Be the change you want to see”
@TreadmillTreats
© TreadmillTreats
Since this month is domestic violence month, I wanted to give some tips to the women out there who may be stuck in this type of relationship.
I know people always say why don't you just leave, like it is so easy. Trust me, if it was so easy, we would have done it. People don't understand that this didn't happen overnight. This person has been chipping away at your self-esteem little by little for years. So much so that in the end, you feel like you could never make it without him. Because you've heard it over and over, and you start to believe it.
Now I know everyone's relationship is different, and everyone's I had enough is different as well, but these are the steps I used to finally leave.
So how did I start to get back to myself, the self I loved? Well, it took time.
I started by reading books about self-love. I went to seminars with people like Tony Robbins, Dr. Wayne Dyer, and others who teach you to appreciate yourself. I left sticky notes on my mirrors and in my car that say “You are enough, You can do it, and love yourself”
Anything that would keep me in that mindset.
I started meditation, and I would envision the life I wanted. In my own home, with friends, parties, and freedom. I imagined every room and what it looked like and felt like. Whenever he put me down or would start screaming at me, I would go to that happy place so that I didn't let his words affect me. I made a vision board and put all I wanted in this new life on it. I put it over my washing machine so I could look at it every day as I did laundry.
I stopped smoking to save all that money I would normally spend on cigarettes. I cut coupons and saved all the grocery money. Anything I could sell, I did and stashed that money in a private safety deposit box. I went to yard sales and bought things for my new home, which I didn't have yet. I kept all my important documents and all the things I bought in my girlfriend's garage. I was planning my getaway every day.
Any extra money I could get my habds on, I stashed away. I started going to the library to research divorce lawyers and apartments, and I also redid my resume. I needed to know what my rights were, how I was going to support myself, and how much I needed to really do this.
To tell the truth (which I always do now), it took 3 years from the time I started to when I finally moved out. It was not overnight, which I was hoping for, but this time gave me the strength I needed. It made me make my escape better, I had money, knowledge, and self-esteem to be able to do this.
At the divorce, I had him pay me for all the furniture and everything else in the house as I wanted nothing from this life (and because I already had everything for my new home which he didn't know about)
Even though I got nothing, he robbed all our savings, and I got no alimony and only 200.00 a month child support for 2 children. I was okay. I was free. I got the home I envisioned with friends and laughter, and I finally had peace in my life.
So today my friends remember there is always a way if you want it bad enough. Even if you have to leave with nothing, nothing is better than how you are living now. But if you can plan your escape, start now. Invest in yourself and your self-worth. You are worthy of better. You can leave if you follow these tips.
“Be the change you want to see”
@TreadmillTreats
© TreadmillTreats
