Sitting here relaxing and traveling virtually is all that I do. Yet, it is cause I choose to.

Deeming me worthless by many others. I have chosen to remain amongst the committee.

Me, myself and I feel hopelessly focused. For we are definitely on a solitary journey. For we are steadily being persecuted. Even though we rarely socialize with anyone. We often step off our square. And have to meditate to enable us to regulate what we have been consuming without retaliation.

We are grateful for many things. However we would be even more grateful if we could actually meet some more kind people.

In these days and times. We see a few kind ones that appear to stay to themselves. And I wonder if it is the same reasons as I.

I do not expect much out of life for real. Only to have a peace of mind. And an opportunity to feel the loving heart and soul grow within.

Mental health care is so difficult. And when it comes down to it. It requires overwhelming courage and energy to maintain a healthy balance.

Sadness is my blessing. Creative expression is my gift.

I did not ask to be here. I have been brought here. And choose to work or put forth a lot of effort into maintaining love in my heart. Often times it is difficult. Especially when I feel so alone within my efforts. And keeping such a small circle. A man could take betrayal quite personally.

Attempts to reach out has become futile! Which is often why I stay to myself. They claim that I expect too much. And I say they expect too much! For it is truly a dream to expect me to accept abuse without me opening my mouth! And that is why I prefer the solitary journey.

Now I am sure that there are many forsaken souls like me. Yet my efforts are to comfort myself from self destruction.

I really am all that I have when it comes to such efforts to keep us in line. Because, obviously, too many are focused on chaos and drama. Which is only entertaining if it is in a movie or a book. And we do not want to be remembered in such behavioral issues. But I assume that is too much to ask for!

Anyway, ptsd, obsessive crying disorders, bipolar disorders and so many other psychological disorders plague our communities. And for some reason there are those that find pushing it to the limit is funny. While we are suffering to just keeping it together. But I guess that is what they call normal behavior. To tease and pick with us when we are silently in need of help.

Nevertheless, we are within a healthy balance. And hopelessly dwelling within a peaceful quiet time moment. And finding our way back to being serious and not horse playing so much. Maybe even shedding a tear here or there. And hoping that we will never find ourselves needing to reach out again. Because obviously we are not considered to be one of the fortunate ones that can be eligible for such a thing......

Hopelessly going back to warpzone, and returning into our unique universe.


Peace out peeps.
Bazilisk49
© Bazilisk49