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DEPRESSION?? SUICIDAL IDEATION
I have never seen battles quite as terrifyingly beautiful as the ones I fight when my mind splinters and races, to swallow me into my own madness, again..Am suffering from suicidal ideation. The thought of ending my life suddenly feels like the only option. It's frequent and becoming obsessive. Why? I have no idea too.
Maybe it's from the pressure am getting from my family. "You have to do this","you are to live like this","you have to be like Hannah". Am basically fulfilling their dreams. Am living the life they always wanted. Where is the voice of an African child at home?.Parents no longer listen they shout. They no longer correct they judge. They no longer teach they compare.
Maybe it's from the society's judgemental state. "You have to follow this traditions","you have to dress like this","you have to walk and talk like this".Why do I have to do as you all do?.Where are the wise men who said one man's meat is another mans poison. They need to she'd a light to our elders.
Maybe it's from the peer pressure. "You have to be skinny","you have to have the flat tummy","you have to braid your hair like this","you have to party".Why do I have to please you just to fit in? Why do I have to be like you? Girls like me are judged for the extra fat. We are body shamed. Don't you understand getting a girl thicker than your juice is a jackpot?. He says am wonderfully and fearfully made in His image and likeness. Where is He to stop all this psychological torture.
Maybe it's from the daily life struggles. The constant need to fulfill your needs with little to no means. Pilling up bills and groceries. Jeremiah 29:11 For He has plans of prosperity for you. When with they kick off? Until when shall one wait?. Matthew 7:7 ask and you shall receive, seek and you shall find, knock and the door shall be opened. How many times have I asked? Am loosing count.
I have this sickening feeling, my chest is heavy and my thoughts are running wild. Constant mood swings, lethargy and headaches. The need to be alone. Isn't this what they call depression? Am slowly giving up and honestly I couldn't care
@babyshark
© cynthia
Maybe it's from the pressure am getting from my family. "You have to do this","you are to live like this","you have to be like Hannah". Am basically fulfilling their dreams. Am living the life they always wanted. Where is the voice of an African child at home?.Parents no longer listen they shout. They no longer correct they judge. They no longer teach they compare.
Maybe it's from the society's judgemental state. "You have to follow this traditions","you have to dress like this","you have to walk and talk like this".Why do I have to do as you all do?.Where are the wise men who said one man's meat is another mans poison. They need to she'd a light to our elders.
Maybe it's from the peer pressure. "You have to be skinny","you have to have the flat tummy","you have to braid your hair like this","you have to party".Why do I have to please you just to fit in? Why do I have to be like you? Girls like me are judged for the extra fat. We are body shamed. Don't you understand getting a girl thicker than your juice is a jackpot?. He says am wonderfully and fearfully made in His image and likeness. Where is He to stop all this psychological torture.
Maybe it's from the daily life struggles. The constant need to fulfill your needs with little to no means. Pilling up bills and groceries. Jeremiah 29:11 For He has plans of prosperity for you. When with they kick off? Until when shall one wait?. Matthew 7:7 ask and you shall receive, seek and you shall find, knock and the door shall be opened. How many times have I asked? Am loosing count.
I have this sickening feeling, my chest is heavy and my thoughts are running wild. Constant mood swings, lethargy and headaches. The need to be alone. Isn't this what they call depression? Am slowly giving up and honestly I couldn't care
@babyshark
© cynthia
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