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Suicide Prevention
TW: Mentions of depression and death.

(a little story i made to spread awareness)



Imagine that your mind is a bowl. This bowl has a single drain in it. In order to be a healthy human being, you must let your emotions go through that drain. Because when they go through the drain you express those emotions. They say that expressing your emotions is better than bottling them up.

Let's say that something happened in your life. It could be something small, like a bully picking on the way you dress, or something big, like someone you care about dieing. Let's say that is only the beginning. Things get worse from there. And everytime something goes wrong, your emotions spill out the drain. You cry from grief. You yell in anger. All of those things spill out.

Let's say that you're tired of letting those feelings out. You just don't want to feel those things anymore. So you put your hands over the drain. But the emotions still leak through. Out of frustration you find another way to block the drain. Successfully keeping those feelings from getting out. You're bottling them up.

Now, everytime you feel something, you don't express it. Instead you keep it inside and pretend everythings fine. Let's imagine that your emotions are like water. Now there's no drain to escape from. So the water just builds up, filling the bowl with you inside it. The water leaks over the edges in waves. One day you're feeling nothing and then suddenly you're feeling a wave of anger. The emotions are leaking through.

You try and put up walls around the bowl, but it doesn't work. Instead you're drowning. You're drowning in your emotions. Letting them out in bursts, in waves. You're stuck inside the bowl and can't get out. And you refuse to unclog the drain. You refuse to fix the problem because you don't believe it'll make things better.

So you're drowning.

Someone comes to your rescuse. They tell you that things will be fine. That you'll make it through. You don't believe them at first but they're persistent. Eventually they get through to you. They take down the walls that you built up. You begin to feel comfortable around them and you unplug the drain. You open up to them. You let it all out. But after doing this, it scares them away.

There's too much water, too much emotion, for them to handle. They call you selfish. They push you away. They leave you. Abandon you. And so you put the plug back. You refuse to let anyone else in. You build the walls again. And just like before, you're stuck inside a bowl full of water, struggling to swin to the surface, to catch your breath.

Until finally, you've given up all hope.

You let yourself drown.

The emotions, the water, it's too much.

You'd rather die.



That's my personal opinion of what I think depression is like for some people. Some are strong enough to get through it but others, well, they don't survive. Suicide isn't a joke.

Instead of bullying those with depression, help them. Because most of them don't know how to help themselves. Because most of them are so lost, so alone, so untrusting, that it'll take a strong hand to guide them out of the dark.

03/28/2021
© Sam T. Parker