I was critical. Twice got admitted. My reports were normal. But I was ill.
One day...
I was sitting on the platform waiting for the train...
I saw a lady smiling at me.
First I smiled, then felt to ignore her.
She came and sat beside me. Her vibe was so high that I felt I m sitting next to some Goddess.
"My dear, Love is the purist thing in the world. Your heart has that purity. Don't loose it. Feel it make it as a weapon..."
Hm? I looked at her... Her saffron saree, rudraksha beads on her neck, her red big bindi of Kumkum, her skin was so radiant, her eyes held me... I felt to cry. I cried like a baby. I put my head on her lap and slept.

I jumped up and saw her still sitting and smiling. Oh God... I'm still here. My mind said. My local came and went. I was about to take local of 12pm..and it's now 4 pm.
I looked at her, I checked my bag to make sure my money bag.

She smiled at me. And said in her soft tone,"You slept after a long time dear. ComeSit here." she kept her hand next to her. And as I sat looking deep in her eyes...she said,"I need to tell you something".

She held my hand. I felt a sudden rush of emotion to burst out... Every episode of pain run out from my eyes.
I sensed deeply to believe that, she is unique one. Her gentle soft hands held my palm...
She said looking into my... I felt my body getting cold and shivering...I felt no control on my thoughts as if I never had any.... I heard her as my deep inner voice saying to me...

"You have lot to write, lot to do. You loved purely. With no bad intention or greed...
So you need not to be in depression. Focus back. Study. Look those who need you. Need your words, need your energy.
Don't loose your inner self.
Hate is not your part to do... Just Love him as you always did. Pray for him...give time for yourself...Settle your inner mind... "
I felt my cheeks wet with tears. I felt I'm ready to accept it that Sagen is no more with me...as a physical part.... I'm letting him go...and accepting that...Love I have for him...is beyond my body limit... I won't be so aloof as He is safe in my heart forever!"

I looked around, I felt soft wind blowing in my ear and my hair waving,my skin felt freshness.
I turned and saw... the lady was already left me...saw her mixing with the walking crowd... Her hair was tired up and cliped with Jasmine...her Saffron Saree end was waving with the wind...and I was wondering who she is!!

That encounter was my call for change! It was an Awaken Arrow shot from sense to unplug madness!!

I was thrilled to write, I read, I teach students. I was happy in cooking and looking after my Dad.

One day, I saw Sagen...standing in front gate of the school. His unshaven face, tired eyes...
What... I asked him.
You... I need you... He said.
No.... It's over? I said...
Still I was not done with my depressed emotions...
"You left me. I was sad... Many things I'm handling... So no... We cannot be together now".

I said. I rejected. I missed him... But I let go him...so he can achieve more than me!!!

Whenever he tried to contact me, I pulled my head to say no.... He inquired about my well being...but I denied to take his help... As it's my journey to discover my inner power...my struggle of emotions to clear out, to leave that silly girl behind, I tried first to forget him...but it's never possible, so I accepted him as my part of mind...I wished him his luck... every possible way... I prayed for his well being and peace... I loved him, love him, and continue to love him.... But knowing that he won't be mine... I thought never to meet him or contact him or tell him anything I go through in personal life.
I made love as my weapon. I understood people behind words. I became strong, independent women...
At the end...I miss Sagen, with a smile that he is mine first... And I cannot be taken away from him ever!!

But... Our destiny had...something else written!!
© Saranya Anish Nair