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To never be Alone
We can't be alone. We are not made to be alone. We, the humans as we call ourselves, are not meant to exist alone. Everything, everywhere, even a stone that rolls in the water, creating uncountable ripples has a reason behind its movement, its existence. We humans, are also meant to be here on this soggy planet that tastes like metal, for a reason far more big to comprehend. If we were meant to be walking alone in circles then Adam would have never found Eve and humanity would have never started like a baby bud of a flower, tiny and weak in the beggining but as it spreads and grow, it turns out to be a beautiful, beautiful rose.
Loneliness is a core created inside humans, a deep well far too deep to be touched. I know I said we can't survive alone but sometimes something inside us screams to wanting to be hidden. A part that has been out in the light too long that it wants to be left alone in the dark. Forgive me but I think we were too wrong to understand ourselves. We are not humans. We were never humans. We were a soggy, slimy piece of mud that used to lay silently on the ground looking at the wonders of the sky, feeling the miraculous cold water touch it's periphery. We were alone when we started as that piece of muddy something but there was a wish, a grain of hope deep inside us, to rise up and look over the horizon, to name all those stars we can see up above our head, the pink ones that looked like strawberries, the blue one that looked like sapphires. We didn't even know what a strawberry was, what a taste could feel on million of tiny taste buds or what a sapphire would feel like in that slender neck of a woman, hanging with a yellow chain. Yet there we were, all alone at the edge of creation, being nothing but desiring everything. At that moment, I am certain we felt lonely. How beautiful it would be to talk to someone about that red star that glimmers right next to the Moon or tell someone how light it feels when raindrops fall over your entire existence. How beautiful it would be to just look at someone and feel pleasant over the fact that they are just there.
I am sure it would be devastating, to just lie there alone, in the vastness, not a soul to share all your secrets with, not an ear who could listen to your songs....songs, but did we sing ? I don't know but I can feel, feel myself being that lonely puddle of mud at the edge of creation, filled with desires and wants and needs and craving and yes, a mere, little light of hope, deep down inside that puddle of stinky mud, inside that well of loneliness and silence, a hope that if someone out there exists who created all these fruity stars and cold raindrops, then He might be capable of creating something out of me, a colorful creature like one of those stars that shimmers or a flowy material that can make you feel light and pure just like the water ?
and then one day, that muddy little puddle opened it's eyes and saw everything up close. It could move, it could walk and speak and see, see all those things he never thought he could. All his wishes were granted. He was given the gift of "life", something that even the stars and water didn't have. And yes, he could name all those trillions of billions of stars on his fingertip. He was wonderful and marvellous and intelligent and.... human. Yes, he was human. and everyone was afraid of him.
The stars were scared he might break them. The water was scared he might drink it all. Even the Earth, the mother of that murky little puddle of goo, was scared of him because she knew what he was capable of. All that destruction and wrath. Everything dark. But no, he was as kind as the first flower ever born. He was as sweet as the first drop of honey. A beautiful person. A beautiful human.
And he had everything. Everything he ever wished for. Everything he ever dreamt of. And he never forgot his stars or water, his only companions. But now they weren't as meaningful to him as they were before. Now he got a clear vision to look at stars closely and he realized they weren't as pink as strawberry and as shiny as a sapphire. They were mere particles of dust suspended in the sky, and the water a mixture of hydrogen and oxygen weren't as calming to him as before. Now, he desired more, something meaningful, something more.
(I know......, humans.)
He always wished for not being alone. When he was a muddy pool and even now when he could talk, all he ever wanted was not to be alone.
Loneliness is a monster my friend. It appears to be friendly at first. It reaches you out like a soft hand who wants to help. It makes you feel that you are better off alone. That you don't need someone. That you should not be there for anyone and anyone should not be there for you. But after sometime it takes a step out of it's shell and its hideous. Its dark and red and horrible. It engulfs you completely. One day you had many people to rely on, sometimes a few, Now...you don't have anyone. You are back to stage one. Back to being that murky, old little puddle of mud that used to stare at stars, that had no one to talk to and believe me darling, we didn't evolve all these years just to be back again a puddle of nothingness. Though yes, we are someday going again to be nothingness, going back again to mother Earth, but not now, not today, today is not that day.
and that day was not for him to be alone. To be sad, to be grieving as now he could feel a million on emotions. He wanted something alongside him. Something to protect and something who could protect him. A deep desire in his human heart.....and like all those before, it was granted again. The Creator really did love him a lot.
And then he woke up, with a sigh and some pain, and alongside him, a marvel he never saw before. A star more pink than any strawberry he ever tasted, a jewel more precious than any sapphire he touched. A companion. A face just like him. A voice just like him, a bit low maybe. A skin just like him, soft to touch and beautiful. A creation alongside him that he desired over all the cells in his body. A person he craved everyday but didn't know he wanted. A wish he made a thousand times but didn't know about what. A woman next to him, a friend he always craved for.
And at that moment, he realized the most beautiful of emotion he could ever have, among all those millionth of emotions which he never did, and never knew it exists.
Love.
An emotion meant for everyone but understood by just few. A feeling felt by everyone but comprehended by just few.
If you asked him what is the most beautiful thing that ever happened to him, I am sure he would never say it was watching the shimmering stars from close or touching the raindrops on his fingertips, eating the most delicious of fruit from heaven or wearing the most silkiest of robe adorned with jewels. He'll definitely say, its Her.
I know his answer because I am him, a part of him, the first human to ever exist, the first puddle of soggy mud to ever exist, I was once a part of it, maybe a little grain, a piece so little, so invaluable that no one ever looked at it. But I was there, I remember....his little existence craving to run away from loneliness, his entire existence happy just to have someone, someone who could listen to all his stories of how he thought the pink star was once a strawberry even if he didn't ever see a strawberry and she would smile, even laugh, tell him he is wonderful and then walk all the milestone of heaven with him, untill a demon appears, but well, that's another story.....
AFTER STORY:
and he requested with his hands that were given for him to pray and to ask and so he asked, I wish all the creatures to be made in pairs so that they never feel loneliness, so that they never feel how heartrending, how trembling, how fearsome the loneliness is. I would never want anyone to feel what I felt. I don't want anyone to walk this Earth alone just like I did. I don't even want the nightingale to stare at the Moon alone. So please, please give everyone a someone they can hold on tight to, they can be with, they can talk to, they can walk with.
And his wish....
was granted.........
again.............................
©SakuraSakka
© All Rights Reserved
Loneliness is a core created inside humans, a deep well far too deep to be touched. I know I said we can't survive alone but sometimes something inside us screams to wanting to be hidden. A part that has been out in the light too long that it wants to be left alone in the dark. Forgive me but I think we were too wrong to understand ourselves. We are not humans. We were never humans. We were a soggy, slimy piece of mud that used to lay silently on the ground looking at the wonders of the sky, feeling the miraculous cold water touch it's periphery. We were alone when we started as that piece of muddy something but there was a wish, a grain of hope deep inside us, to rise up and look over the horizon, to name all those stars we can see up above our head, the pink ones that looked like strawberries, the blue one that looked like sapphires. We didn't even know what a strawberry was, what a taste could feel on million of tiny taste buds or what a sapphire would feel like in that slender neck of a woman, hanging with a yellow chain. Yet there we were, all alone at the edge of creation, being nothing but desiring everything. At that moment, I am certain we felt lonely. How beautiful it would be to talk to someone about that red star that glimmers right next to the Moon or tell someone how light it feels when raindrops fall over your entire existence. How beautiful it would be to just look at someone and feel pleasant over the fact that they are just there.
I am sure it would be devastating, to just lie there alone, in the vastness, not a soul to share all your secrets with, not an ear who could listen to your songs....songs, but did we sing ? I don't know but I can feel, feel myself being that lonely puddle of mud at the edge of creation, filled with desires and wants and needs and craving and yes, a mere, little light of hope, deep down inside that puddle of stinky mud, inside that well of loneliness and silence, a hope that if someone out there exists who created all these fruity stars and cold raindrops, then He might be capable of creating something out of me, a colorful creature like one of those stars that shimmers or a flowy material that can make you feel light and pure just like the water ?
and then one day, that muddy little puddle opened it's eyes and saw everything up close. It could move, it could walk and speak and see, see all those things he never thought he could. All his wishes were granted. He was given the gift of "life", something that even the stars and water didn't have. And yes, he could name all those trillions of billions of stars on his fingertip. He was wonderful and marvellous and intelligent and.... human. Yes, he was human. and everyone was afraid of him.
The stars were scared he might break them. The water was scared he might drink it all. Even the Earth, the mother of that murky little puddle of goo, was scared of him because she knew what he was capable of. All that destruction and wrath. Everything dark. But no, he was as kind as the first flower ever born. He was as sweet as the first drop of honey. A beautiful person. A beautiful human.
And he had everything. Everything he ever wished for. Everything he ever dreamt of. And he never forgot his stars or water, his only companions. But now they weren't as meaningful to him as they were before. Now he got a clear vision to look at stars closely and he realized they weren't as pink as strawberry and as shiny as a sapphire. They were mere particles of dust suspended in the sky, and the water a mixture of hydrogen and oxygen weren't as calming to him as before. Now, he desired more, something meaningful, something more.
(I know......, humans.)
He always wished for not being alone. When he was a muddy pool and even now when he could talk, all he ever wanted was not to be alone.
Loneliness is a monster my friend. It appears to be friendly at first. It reaches you out like a soft hand who wants to help. It makes you feel that you are better off alone. That you don't need someone. That you should not be there for anyone and anyone should not be there for you. But after sometime it takes a step out of it's shell and its hideous. Its dark and red and horrible. It engulfs you completely. One day you had many people to rely on, sometimes a few, Now...you don't have anyone. You are back to stage one. Back to being that murky, old little puddle of mud that used to stare at stars, that had no one to talk to and believe me darling, we didn't evolve all these years just to be back again a puddle of nothingness. Though yes, we are someday going again to be nothingness, going back again to mother Earth, but not now, not today, today is not that day.
and that day was not for him to be alone. To be sad, to be grieving as now he could feel a million on emotions. He wanted something alongside him. Something to protect and something who could protect him. A deep desire in his human heart.....and like all those before, it was granted again. The Creator really did love him a lot.
And then he woke up, with a sigh and some pain, and alongside him, a marvel he never saw before. A star more pink than any strawberry he ever tasted, a jewel more precious than any sapphire he touched. A companion. A face just like him. A voice just like him, a bit low maybe. A skin just like him, soft to touch and beautiful. A creation alongside him that he desired over all the cells in his body. A person he craved everyday but didn't know he wanted. A wish he made a thousand times but didn't know about what. A woman next to him, a friend he always craved for.
And at that moment, he realized the most beautiful of emotion he could ever have, among all those millionth of emotions which he never did, and never knew it exists.
Love.
An emotion meant for everyone but understood by just few. A feeling felt by everyone but comprehended by just few.
If you asked him what is the most beautiful thing that ever happened to him, I am sure he would never say it was watching the shimmering stars from close or touching the raindrops on his fingertips, eating the most delicious of fruit from heaven or wearing the most silkiest of robe adorned with jewels. He'll definitely say, its Her.
I know his answer because I am him, a part of him, the first human to ever exist, the first puddle of soggy mud to ever exist, I was once a part of it, maybe a little grain, a piece so little, so invaluable that no one ever looked at it. But I was there, I remember....his little existence craving to run away from loneliness, his entire existence happy just to have someone, someone who could listen to all his stories of how he thought the pink star was once a strawberry even if he didn't ever see a strawberry and she would smile, even laugh, tell him he is wonderful and then walk all the milestone of heaven with him, untill a demon appears, but well, that's another story.....
AFTER STORY:
and he requested with his hands that were given for him to pray and to ask and so he asked, I wish all the creatures to be made in pairs so that they never feel loneliness, so that they never feel how heartrending, how trembling, how fearsome the loneliness is. I would never want anyone to feel what I felt. I don't want anyone to walk this Earth alone just like I did. I don't even want the nightingale to stare at the Moon alone. So please, please give everyone a someone they can hold on tight to, they can be with, they can talk to, they can walk with.
And his wish....
was granted.........
again.............................
©SakuraSakka
© All Rights Reserved
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