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Between The War's
I scrubbed at the crease of my eye’s removing my mascara with the dry skin on the front of my palms. I was beginning to get tired but somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew I couldn’t lose focus because if I did I would lose her .i would lose the angel that sat in the middle of the playground stacking her multicolored balls with her tiny hands. Hands I’ve felt wipe my tear’s away when I needed the gesture most.Hands that have brought me to my knees with the smallest flick of a finger. The hands that could cup the blazing cells of the sun and not be burned.The same Hands that Grasped my denim skirt as her small bones flexed on her knuckles. Gripping on to the fabric with frustration and anger. Her thoughts too scrambled to speak, as I walked out into the rain, into the world of loss and grief. Smooth and Soft but not a shield to pain.
Mia pulled her ivory dress down a bit as she crouched down, moving around carefully with her own two feet .she placed the balls back in the box only to dump them back out. Her chocolate brown eye’s gleaming with excitement every time she placed a ball back in the sea bucket.
I knew the risks of being here but my feet wouldn’t take me anywhere else.It felt like every time I tried to move on and forget I was rooted back to the same place. The source of my regret. Mia.
Watching mia play was all I wanted to do . Hiding behind my daughter like always as if it would clean my conscious of the horrible things she’s witnessed by being in my care. Her own mother. The only parent she’s had. Who hadn’t failed her until it was too late until the deed was done and there was no turning back, The angels weren’t forgiving the sin’s I’ve committed anytime soon. I, puffed out a breath. My eye’s moistened when I looked at my graceful little girl. Her black and brown curls bounced on her shoulders, obscuring her face. Her nose small and narrow, and her lips tugged into a small pout. I watched her . wondering what it would be like to ease my way over to her on my shaky leg’s and sit next to her. Just to be in the same space as she was and inhale her scent. let it roam wild inside of me. Relieve me of my anguish. Ease my bone’s into submission.
Would she offer to play with her, and hand me a ball or would she grab them all up in her...
Mia pulled her ivory dress down a bit as she crouched down, moving around carefully with her own two feet .she placed the balls back in the box only to dump them back out. Her chocolate brown eye’s gleaming with excitement every time she placed a ball back in the sea bucket.
I knew the risks of being here but my feet wouldn’t take me anywhere else.It felt like every time I tried to move on and forget I was rooted back to the same place. The source of my regret. Mia.
Watching mia play was all I wanted to do . Hiding behind my daughter like always as if it would clean my conscious of the horrible things she’s witnessed by being in my care. Her own mother. The only parent she’s had. Who hadn’t failed her until it was too late until the deed was done and there was no turning back, The angels weren’t forgiving the sin’s I’ve committed anytime soon. I, puffed out a breath. My eye’s moistened when I looked at my graceful little girl. Her black and brown curls bounced on her shoulders, obscuring her face. Her nose small and narrow, and her lips tugged into a small pout. I watched her . wondering what it would be like to ease my way over to her on my shaky leg’s and sit next to her. Just to be in the same space as she was and inhale her scent. let it roam wild inside of me. Relieve me of my anguish. Ease my bone’s into submission.
Would she offer to play with her, and hand me a ball or would she grab them all up in her...
