On somedays you will see me messaging you randomly greeting you and checking you out and always welcome to hear you out. I will ask you what good things have happened and celebrate them like it’s mine. You will then see me lost, see me hiding all my pain unable to cry but just send you a long ‘hiiiii’. That’s literally 4 extra i’s I typed out of stress. I’ll seek diversion. I’ll find reasons to talk to you. I’ll ask random question though I know what would be your reply. I’ll remember the tiniest detail. I’ll help you in every way I can. I’ll delete texts for everyone and pray that you ignore it thinking if you know what I asked, it would so petty. I’ll ask you to say ‘I love you’ to me when I feel less loved, the days when even self love cannot have me back. I’ll not always tell that I adore you, that I have you in my head timelessly, that I deeply really care for you. I’ll jump to my phone and see your text panickly just to ensure I didn’t hurt you. I’ll set things in my head like what would it be like when we meet, and how tight can I hug you so you know how my tears hug without coming out.

And on somedays, I’ll just stare at our chat window, not say a word, reading our past messages, and smile wide. Days will pass, but will never stop loving you, even in silence.

#life #musings #letter #love